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Relationship Health Message Board

Relationship Health Board Index

I agree. Ex's should be left behind especially if he knows this is bothering you. I'd question why he still wants to have her in his life. Power trip? Ego? Not over her yet?

When my husband and I were at the point in our relationship where we knew we wanted to get married, the old boyfriends and girlfriends were left behind. But I remember one Friday night I was going out with girl friends and he said he would call M. (ex girlfriend) to see if she wanted to have dinner. I told him right away that I wasn't comfortable with it and questioned why he would want to have dinner with an old flame. I told him it made me feel insecure about our relationship and that if he was still in the headspace that he wanted to still have dinner with an old flame then he really wasn't committed to our relationship 100%. A piece of him was still in the past with her which was not acceptable to me. However, I pulled a fast one on him, picked up the phone with him sitting right there and said "Hey J, want to get together for dinner next week? It's been a while. You know that I am involved with a man so really it will just be dinner as old friends. How 'bout it? I will be fun to catch up on each other's lives". My boyfriend turned red but said nothing. And the following night he said he realized he wasn't comfortable with me seeing this man who at one point was madly in love with me. I had made my point. But I still ended up seeing my old boyfriend since I had already called him and he had accepted. But we made it for lunch instead of dinner since lunch is less threatening. My boyfriend never called his old girlfriend to go out on that Friday night and it was never mentioned again. He now knew what it felt like to walk a mile in my shoes and it made him aware of how it feels from the other side.

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