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Relationship Health Message Board


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I can relate to [I]backtomyoldself's[/I] problem, from a slightly different angle (social friendships as opposed to romantic). I had a terrible high school experience at an all-girl school, treated as a complete reject. Also had no boyfriends.

But for the 3 1/2 years I spent at my university (ages 19 - 22), and then after, right up until 2000, I did not notice a problem in either my romantic relationships nor my social friendships. I was NEVER the life of the party -- like [I]backtomyoldself[/I], I am picky about who I hang around with. The things that changed from high school were 1. I did blossom into a physically attractive young woman and 2. I started doing more and more of what I dreamed about doing -- as a child and teenager, I pretty much marched to the routine set by my parents/school. I have had two real romantic relationships in my life -- one lasted for 7 years in my 20s, the other has been since 1995 and still going strong. As for socializing, I always had women (and a couple of men) to hang out with -- up until 2000, when I started this full time job I am still at.

Now, I am 41 and (as I have posted on these Boards [I]ad nauseum[/I]) I find myself in a VERY strange work environment, where I long to be included in the social events but have been left out for quite awhile. (As a side note, some of the men make it obvious that I am also no longer considered one of the good-looking women, even though my husband is about 10,000x more attractive than those men! And he (hubbie) still seems to find me attractive.) But for the social thing, here's an example: a woman was hired back in Sept. and she and I had more in common than anyone else here as far as personality and interests (she -- film and broadcast editor; me -- print and electronic editor). She is 29. Before a few weeks I noticed that she and the 26-yr-old receptionist were hanging together (excluding me), and that she pretty much hung with only the 20-somethings. She announced she was leaving this week, and yesterday one of the guys (in his mid-30s) invited her, the receptionist, and another 20-something woman out for a goodbye lunch. There might have been more people there, I just saw those 4 leave together. My feelings were really hurt. That guy always seemed nice to me. . . . .

I guess I am saying that I am still as perplexed by these social relations things as anyone else!!!!!!!!! I don't think it's me being standoffish -- I think it is truly because I am unconventional and a bit eccentric and that no matter how loving I am towards others I get rejected socially (Of course now the LOVE is turning to HATE HATE HATE HATE . . . .) I met a friend online whom I meet once a month for coffee at a nearby bookstore -- she has the same personality type as me and she seems to like me and I like her! SO, . . . well, I guess it's just that I am in a bad place socially (workwise)





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