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Relationship Health Message Board


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Hi Tera, sorry to hear you're in a boat with no oars either. I have been there, am still there and feel for you. My situation was similar for the longest time. My husband didn't believe that I was as sick as I said I was because I looked fine. Even after the docs found the problems it took a long time, lot of tears and soul searching before he realized that I was something worth keeping.
As for your boyfriend saying things like that, yes it's emotional abuse. If you look on a couple different threads I've been on you'll see the situation I've come from...too long to re-post...anger management..will he cross the line, under sleepymisfit, now angel, pain management...no one understands, and depression..hey maddhatter, hey angel77 and one other that has like 5 pages to it started by I believe thickman???
I was diagnosed with Grave's disease after 2yrs of marriage, had the radiation and never got better...found out 4 years later I also had narcolepsy, which got so severe after the birth of my second that I have become completely disabled and housebound..going on 4 mos now. I also have a toddler as well as a gradeshooler and being at home is anything but fun and hard work to boot. I got tired of hearing how hard it was to work all day and finally flipped....they would go postal if they were locked up with kids 24/7, alone, chronic illness (especially undiagnosed...no proof you're really suffering because there's no name for it yet) and being made to feel like a bad mom and g/f. Don't take it.
There are programs to help people in your situation. I don't know the rules of your state, low-income housing here is a joke...long waiting list. But it may be wise of you to put your name on a list now and speak with a social worker about government benefits. If it comes down to it, you'll be set to move and have a safe place to go and the benefits should help you stay afloat for awhile. If he happens to come around by the time the housing is available, you aren't obligated to go..there's always someone who needs it, so it won't be wasted.
At five months, I don't think he has the attatchment to see him through the storm and with the baby not being his, he has no incentive at all. In his mind he is doing you the favor...love is not a favor, love is a gift, with no strings attatched. You are not a puppet, therefore, no strings.
If he truly wants to work it out, get into a counselor who specializes in helping couples work through hard times caused by medical problems. He may not listen to you, but a lot of times when a stranger acknowledges your illness and limitations, they listen...not right, but that's how things go.
If you don't mind, I've become a jr. expert on a few medical problems, compliments of life experiences, maybe I can help you head in the right direction. If you don't mind me asking, what symptoms are you having, what tests have been run and do you have an idea what it may be?
I hope you stay strong and keep your heart, spirit and sanity in tact....this is a rough road and even with a diagnosis, still feels like you're walking an endless mile with shoes that are 2 sizes too small.
[QUOTE=Angel77]Hi Tera, sorry to hear you're in a boat with no oars either. I have been there, am still there and feel for you. My situation was similar for the longest time. My husband didn't believe that I was as sick as I said I was because I looked fine. Even after the docs found the problems it took a long time, lot of tears and soul searching before he realized that I was something worth keeping.
As for your boyfriend saying things like that, yes it's emotional abuse. If you look on a couple different threads I've been on you'll see the situation I've come from...too long to re-post...anger management..will he cross the line, under sleepymisfit, now angel, pain management...no one understands, and depression..hey maddhatter, hey angel77 and one other that has like 5 pages to it started by I believe thickman???
I was diagnosed with Grave's disease after 2yrs of marriage, had the radiation and never got better...found out 4 years later I also had narcolepsy, which got so severe after the birth of my second that I have become completely disabled and housebound..going on 4 mos now. I also have a toddler as well as a gradeshooler and being at home is anything but fun and hard work to boot. I got tired of hearing how hard it was to work all day and finally flipped....they would go postal if they were locked up with kids 24/7, alone, chronic illness (especially undiagnosed...no proof you're really suffering because there's no name for it yet) and being made to feel like a bad mom and g/f. Don't take it.
There are programs to help people in your situation. I don't know the rules of your state, low-income housing here is a joke...long waiting list. But it may be wise of you to put your name on a list now and speak with a social worker about government benefits. If it comes down to it, you'll be set to move and have a safe place to go and the benefits should help you stay afloat for awhile. If he happens to come around by the time the housing is available, you aren't obligated to go..there's always someone who needs it, so it won't be wasted.
At five months, I don't think he has the attatchment to see him through the storm and with the baby not being his, he has no incentive at all. In his mind he is doing you the favor...love is not a favor, love is a gift, with no strings attatched. You are not a puppet, therefore, no strings.
If he truly wants to work it out, get into a counselor who specializes in helping couples work through hard times caused by medical problems. He may not listen to you, but a lot of times when a stranger acknowledges your illness and limitations, they listen...not right, but that's how things go.
If you don't mind, I've become a jr. expert on a few medical problems, compliments of life experiences, maybe I can help you head in the right direction. If you don't mind me asking, what symptoms are you having, what tests have been run and do you have an idea what it may be?
I hope you stay strong and keep your heart, spirit and sanity in tact....this is a rough road and even with a diagnosis, still feels like you're walking an endless mile with shoes that are 2 sizes too small.[/QUOTE]

Well My symptoms are as follows and I believe it might be CFS/Fibro

Mucle aches that are worse at night and when I first wake up
Joint aches that go along the same pattern
I get tired very easily and it takes me awhile to do things
I have had night and day sweats
my glands are swollen alot
I have a lump on the side of my neck near the collar bone had it for 2 years hard and not painfull
My neck just recently started to hurt after these severe bouts of stress
My lips are dry all the time
My eyes are very dry as well and painfull at times
My lower back hurts alot as well
And recently to my suprise I have had boils break out and last for weeks :confused:

I have had CBC Blood chem and tests for diabetes and mono and thyroid all fine.
I was told at 19 that I had fibro then no because I did not have all the tender points
I had something called lymphenditis which people usually have with cancer or chemo I am not sure why I had it but I have felt horrible since.
Please any help would be Loved

Tera





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