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Serious problem..
Feb 2, 2004
I don't usually post on this board but I have a serious problem with my boyfriend. I met him 3 months ago, things progressed very quickly and he moved in with me 2 weeks ago. I thought it would be great because I've been alone for so long. Now, I think it was a big mistake. He is controlling, extremely jealous and possesive. He says it is because he loves me. He won't let me sit next to a male when we get on a bus, it is that bad. He won't let me go to the cinema with my friends because some guy might sit next to me. He also doesn't like my friends since most of them are male. He wants me to spend all my time with him and gets offended when I go to see my family or friends. We fight everyday. Nights are the worst. When I don't do the things he want, he flips out. I can't really talk to him since his temper never lets me. When he is mad, he starts yelling, being verbally abusive. Then he grabs his blanket and goes out to sleep outside. I try to get him inside because it is cold out but it takes hours to convince him and I have to agree with him about the things he want. Meanwhile, I have to go to work with 3 hours of sleep. He does this every night and has done it again an hour ago. It is because I didn't want to sleep with him since I'm still sore from the two we had today. I can't get close to him because when I touch him, he gets turned on. When I stay away, he gets offended and I really don't know how to act. He doesn't have a stable job and doesn't help me with the expences. I broke it off a week ago but he started crying, then grabbed some drugs from my medicine cabinet and said he would kill himself if I didn't want him. He apologized and said he wouldn't do it again so I gave him one more chance. Things are getting worse and worse everyday. Even though I love him, I can't stand it anymore. I need to get away from this but I'm scared he might do something to me or himself. Any advice would be appreciated.
[QUOTE=~Cansu~]I don't usually post on this board but I have a serious problem with my boyfriend. I met him 3 months ago, things progressed very quickly and he moved in with me 2 weeks ago. I thought it would be great because I've been alone for so long. Now, I think it was a big mistake. He is controlling, extremely jealous and possesive. He says it is because he loves me. He won't let me sit next to a male when we get on a bus, it is that bad. He won't let me go to the cinema with my friends because some guy might sit next to me. He also doesn't like my friends since most of them are male. He wants me to spend all my time with him and gets offended when I go to see my family or friends. We fight everyday. Nights are the worst. When I don't do the things he want, he flips out. I can't really talk to him since his temper never lets me. When he is mad, he starts yelling, being verbally abusive. Then he grabs his blanket and goes out to sleep outside. I try to get him inside because it is cold out but it takes hours to convince him and I have to agree with him about the things he want. Meanwhile, I have to go to work with 3 hours of sleep. He does this every night and has done it again an hour ago. It is because I didn't want to sleep with him since I'm still sore from the two we had today. I can't get close to him because when I touch him, he gets turned on. When I stay away, he gets offended and I really don't know how to act. He doesn't have a stable job and doesn't help me with the expences. I broke it off a week ago but he started crying, then grabbed some drugs from my medicine cabinet and said he would kill himself if I didn't want him. He apologized and said he wouldn't do it again so I gave him one more chance. Things are getting worse and worse everyday. Even though I love him, I can't stand it anymore. I need to get away from this but I'm scared he might do something to me or himself. Any advice would be appreciated.[/QUOTE]

I was in an abusive relationship and all I can say is GET OUT! It will only escalate and get worse with time. Mine started out the same way, possesive at first and then in time it turned to violence. It took me 4.5 years to finally get up the courage and the will power to leave. Please don't make the same mistake I did.. get out now. You cannot help this person and no matter what he says it will never stop. If you need someone to talk with or someone who understands feel free to e-mail me or IM me.. my screen names are in my profile.
I feel for you. I am in the same situation and I knw how hard it is. I posted under the general sexual heath board because my boyfriend wants sex all the time too even when it hurts. He pulls the same stuff. Read my post sexual abuse.

He tells me the same things that he does it because he loves me and sex is so important to him because that's the way he shows me his love. He's upset because it hurts because he never lets me heal. He accuses me of cheating and that my ex boyfriends were better in bed because I can't get off when I'm in pain.

He trips out when I hit traffic on the way home from work and am fiftenn minutes late, or when I take to long coming over. He wants me with him constantly and he hates all of my friends. I am not allowed to have men call me or have male friends. Even my female friends he hates and it's only been a month. He's asked me to move in, but I won't even though I am there every day and he doesn't have a steady job either.

Your boyfriend sounds so much like mine it's ridiculous. Mine keeps me up every night fighting as well. Over how I'm going to cheat, over my past, over sex etc... So I am in the same boat. I am miserablle and am planning to leave. I am moving in a month or two and I think that will rid me of his controling behavior because he doesn't know that I'm breaking my lease and moving somewhere new.

Good luck to you and keep me updated. We both know what we NEED to do, it's just easier said than done. So maybe we can be of some support to each other.





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