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We finally talked last night about the pictures and he deleted them. He said he was doing it for some younger guys at work that does not have the internet and he was going to make them a CD of the pictures. I asked him why him and he said he knew I knew he viewed the site and was ok with it so making a CD would not be a big deal whereas some of the other guys at work, their wives DO NOT APPROVE of it so they could not make the CD's. But it's like I told him IF I would have known why the pictures were there it would have been different instead of just finding them and having a million things run through my head but he totally understands where I'm coming from. I told him that since I knew what he was doing with them that he didn't have to delete them but by then it was to late. He said he completely understands how I would feel seeing it considering I just had a baby 2 months, we have to take my ex husband back to court AGAIN, lack of sleep, etc. and then seeing this didn't help matters any because I already have alot on my mind and alot on me to get done. He said he doesn't NEED(I asked him just why he needed them) the pictures because he has me and I'm all he needs. I told him I was overreacting(he said I have alot on my mind and finding something like this didn't help it any) but at the time I didn't know what to think about the pictures because it's not like him to do something like this. Yes I knew he viewed the site but it wasn't like him to be saving them. I asked him why he didn't just tell me and he said he didn't think anything of it. He wasn't trying to hide it from me. He said he is not going to do anything to mess up our marriage and if that means deleteing the pictures then he will. He did say he does go to that site every now and then and look around(which I already knew). He said that is the only one he visits though. It's not what he calls "nasty porn" all it is is nudity....voyeurism pictures. He was the one that showed me the site and I even go there sometimes. I know I go there more than he does. I told him I understand going to the site because it's human nature to look. He said looking is one thing and wanting to touch is another and if it gets to this point then there is serious problems. He said he doesn't care that I go to them either. But I told him it's hard to find a site with straight men on it. But he said if something is bothering me to let him know then instead of keeping it bottled up inside of me and then it makes things worse. It's like he said after keeping it bottled up and when something is finally said, some things might be said that shouldn't be said and that will mess up the marriage too. I was just overracting but he understands and was not mad at all. He said the most important thing to him is me and our marriage and his family and he is not going to do anything to mess that up.

We also talked about him staying up late at night and he said he will start coming to bed with me. Which we talked about this a week ago and he has been coming to bed with me ever since but we talked again last night about it. I told him I don't expect sex from him every night because I know he doesn't want it every night.(I knew this before we started dating) I just want him to come to bed with me so we can talk, hold each other, whatever. I didn't have this in my first marriage. Heck when I got with him, I was scared to even touch him and get close to him because of the way my first husband treated me. But he brought me out of all of that and it is the best feeling to have a man treat you right and touch you and hold you and know he is just not doing it to get him some.(like my first husband done) I didn't know what true love was till I got with him.

Butterflygirl to answer you question if I ask him for help with the baby he will help. He helps out more on the weekends than during the week. I don't have to work so I'm here everyday with her and told him I need a break for a little while in the afternoons. I told him he gets his break by going to work everyday. We talked about this last night too and he said he will start helping out more but he wants my son to continue to help also. My son gets a kick out of it knowing he can rock her to sleep, give her the bottle, etc. And he is very affectionate also. Like I said above, I didn't have this in my first marriage and when I got with him I scared to death to touch him. But he showed me it was ok and how good it was to be touched in the right ways and now I can't keep my hands off of him. :) As far as him staying on the computer, he has a dozen different projects he is working on so that's why he is on the computer so much but after talking last night he see's where I"m coming from about him spending to much time on the computer. And that's how me and him met was online in a chat room almost 4 years ago. And no he doesn't hide the screen when I walk into the room. Whatever he is doing he will continue to do.

I know what all of this boils down to is that I was overracting and had a million things running through my head that I shouldn't have had running through my head. He is a very good husband. He is one of these that are few and far between. I was making a bigger deal out of it than it was but he understands and says it's because I just had a baby 2 months and that everything is going to be ok. He said if anything is bothering me whether it's something big or little to let him know then(which I have a hard time doing) instead of keeping it inside and that he is not going to get mad at me.(that's what I was scared of) He said he will not hide anything from me that he is very open and honest. Which I alreay knew. So after this long talk about everything we ended up making love and it was like it was on a different level. Since I know how he felt and how I felt about things we were connected better...I don't know it's hard to explain but I know how it felt.

Thanks to all who replied.





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