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Relationship Health Message Board


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Jenna, I used to date a musician that was just like this. He'd say nice things but remain illusive. We played the email game too. He acted like he cared but didn't make a play on it. He told me about all his "fans" how they were obsessed and then he tried to make me feel like one of those girls. We dated on and off for 5 months but I was in love with him over a year. (which he strung my feelings along the whole year). We were a couple and intimate, but he was still not within my reach. I knew I couldn't have his heart. Even though at times he acted as if I did have it.

He was sweet and we had mutual interests and I thoguht I was different. I thought I was special. But I wasn't. I ended up spilling my guts in emails. Proclaiming my feelings and finally getting angry. Even when I was angry he would write back, "geez, I didn't know you felt that way but don't think I don't love you, I do." Simple phrases that would still keep me guessing. ***?

I asked him many times just to come straight with me call me names, anything, just be true to himself and say what he's feeling. But he wouldn't. The only time he ever got mad (supposedly) was the last time I saw him about three months ago. We ran into each other at a bar and he offered to drive me home. When we got there he freaked because I told him I had an ex boyfriend in the months we hadn't seen each other. He was upset with me and himself supposedly for not being there and allowing it to happen. WHAT???? How can he be jealous, he wasn't even around EVER.

I think that this guy that you are looking to start a relationship with sounds somewhat like my ex. Don't get more attatched to something he'll never let you have. Besides guys like these have nothing to offer, but we chase after them melting anyway because they throw a few flirtatious or caring words our way. I guess I'd rather have someone who truly cares and shows it.

Good luck, I know how hard it can be. I still have love/hate feelings for my ex man.





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