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Relationship Health Message Board


Relationship Health Board Index


Hi everyone, I am new to this board. I usually post on the depression and panic disorder boards but I believe the reason my depression and anxiety is so bad lately stems from the situation I am "stuck" in.

Here is my story. I met my boyfriend (we were once engaged but I broke it off - more on that in a bit) over 2 years ago. We first spoke online/on the phone for a year before we met in person. He lived in Illinois and I lived in Vermont. He flew out to Vermont to meet me as it was hard for me to travel with my 2 kids. We connected really well and we saw great potential for a realtionship despite our living in different states. We continued our realtionship over the phone and with frequent visits. However, it wasn't enough for us. We wanted to live together and I decided to make the move to Illinois. 2 months in, I decided it was a bad bad mistake, however I decided to stick it out for a year to see how it went. Well, despite birth control I became pregnant with my 3rd child and things seemed to be going better for me as I had a new baby to distract me from my misery of being in a place I hate. To make a long story short, I expressed my desire to move back to Vermont where all of my family and friends are (I have none here and I am miserable) and my signifigant other said he did not want to move to Vermont. I soon broke off the engagement because I did not feel comfortable making a lifelong commitment to someone who did not want to live in the same state as myself. We agreed not getting married was best. I rode it out a few more months and only became more depressed and anxious as time went on. The schools here in this city are terrible, the health care agencies leave a lot to be desired and I am terribly lonely. I have already kicked myself a million times for not researching this before so please do not tell me I should have done that before hand. I realize I made a mistake. :(
Well, my desire to move back to my small community with better schools and the largest hospital in New England where my children received top notch health care for years has become so strong I can no longer bear it. I am driving myself crazy because I know my bf does not want to move with me. He refuses to, without any explanation. It's as if my wants and desires are of no importance. I'm fighting a losing battle here. Bf has even threatened that if I move with our son (who is now a year old) he will take me to court to keep him. He KNOWS that is what would hurt me the most and it makes me so angry that to think that maybe he is saying that as a ploy to keep me here, or as a way to hurt me. I want to sit down and talk with him about the pros and cons about moving/not moving but nothing I say to him sinks in. He flat out refuses to see things from my point of view. It has gotten so bad lately that I am beginning to wonder if I even want to be in this relationship anymore. But if I break up with him, the only place I can go is back to Vermont and then he will take me to court for our son. I am at my wit's end! Does anyone have any advice for me?
Thanks so much,
Michele





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