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Relationship Health Message Board

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Sorry I haven't posted in awhile, I've been exhausted trying to get the new apartment ready and moving. Thanks for the concern supertrooper and congratulations to Cansu for getting your boyfriend out of your house. I am very close myself where that's concerned.

We fight every night. He blames me. He does the guilt trip and says I'm seeing someone else. He's hurting because he feels rejected and all he wants is to show his love and affection. He says that he's a man and I don't make him feel that way and he won't apologize for wanting to love his girlfriend. This goes on for hours. I cry, he cries and I pack my things. I tell him that I want to leave and then he stops me and makes me listen to him. He has dreams about me cheating on him. He talks in his sleep and he asks me if the baby is his, like I was cheating on him while pregnant. He throws my ex's in my face and tells me that they don't care about me and never loved me. That I don't know what love is. He tries to make me feel cheap, and feel like my ex's treated me like I was a hooker. Really he's the one that is disrespectful.

Anyhow, I've been taking a few things from his house here and there in the morning and replacing it with stuff that I don't want, so he doesn't notice that all my stuff is missing. I am staying the night at my parents tonight because I keep telling him that I am tired and I don't get enough sleep because he keeps me up trying to have sex with me and then we fight. With moving and working, I have an excuse to be exhausted. I know he's going to be mad though.

I can't wait to get out of this and return to a normal life again. Maybe I do need counseling like he says I do, but only to keep me from dating jerks like him again and until I can distinguish the difference I won't date at all. It's awful when you feel like having a boyfriend is a prison sentence.

I still haven't found those books by Patricia Evans but I am going to buy them online today.

Thanks everyone for still being there for me. I know that it's monotonus telling women to get away from thier abusers, but the abuse is built up over time and sometimes so is courage. Nothing is keeping me there but my fear of him, because I know I wouldn't miss him or need him. I'm just afraid to leave because he won't let me leave.

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