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Relationship Health Message Board

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Well, from a guy's POV, I think you are overreacting. Men (and women) do what I call "window shopping". They see an attractive member of the opposite sex and have a thought that basically says "Oh boy!" It is somewhat built into humans. It is why they say "sex sells". You put a nice looking babe on the screen and you have most guys attention. The next time you go to a beach and a young hottie in a too small bikini walks by look carefully at the reaction of the men. I bet 99% will at least take a sideways glance. They can't help it.

Most guys are mature enough to be subtle about it. They don't stare and they certainly don't make comments to their gf. But it's not because he doesn't love you and wants to drag her into a dark corner and do her. Even a fine Christian man like President Jimmy Carter admitted in an interview in Playboy that he "lusted in his heart" for hot babes. Did it mean he loved his wife any less? Of course not. He is just a man.

Just because a guy finds "THE ONE" it doesn't mean that he no longer finds ANY other woman unattractive. What is he supposed to do, stare at the ground whenever another woman walks by? You need to understand the difference between real temptation and just saying to himself that she's hot. I guess I would hope that you have a little bit more faith in your bf than to think that he would dump you for someone that was hotter. Do you really think he is that shallow?

What kind of thoughts do you think crossed his mind when he first saw you? I doubt he wondered if you had a good sense of humor or if you could cook. Everyone has parameters built into them by various ways that shape who we find attractive, and those things don't get shut off after we find someone. We are just able to control what we do with those impulses.

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