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Truth, I have to admit you sound bitter. Yes I admit a lot of people on the internet appear to be lonely and in a way I think the internet exacerbates that especially for those who are shy. People who sit at home and get all of their social interaction from IM's and chatrooms. One of my best girlfriends and I used to go out and do things until she "discovered" the internet and now that is her life. We no longer hang out or go anywhere. She is engaged to a man that she met online and they are involved in a long distance relationship. They've know each other for about three years, have met many times and he is in the Army and trying to relocate here. She was lonely and shy and it worked out for her. Just as it has for many people. I have a friend who is totally against it. She said I can't find any really "smart" men in chatrooms. She is totally ignorant about online dating of course. There are so many different places to meet men then chatrooms. The funny thing is every man I have met online is 10 X more intelligent and educated then she is or her husband. (He can't even write out a check.) I "may" not have found the man that I will have a long term relationship with yet, but every man I have met have been intelligent, educated, with good jobs for the most part. I've met lawyers, a doctor, a meteorologist, an investigator, a prosecutor, men who own their own businesses. I told her once that I would never meet that caliber of men other then on the internet, because we live in a sort of industrial area. Let's just say I never have before and I just started internet dating in 2002. There are problems, just like all kind of dating. The biggest to me is that a lot of men on the internet are just looking for sex. I've gone out with a man who was married and he lied to me about it. But you know what, that happened to me about five years ago too and I met that man through a friend. I try to wean out those looking for sex from those looking for a relationship (and sex) by not having sex too soon. This is a good idea regardless of how you meet someone. I don't believe in "internet" relationships. I don't talk and talk to someone over the internet for months and consider I'm in a boyfriend/girlfriend type relationship with them. If we are both interested, we meet meet to see if we click. I've had one relationship which lasted six months (we are still good friends), but haven't really met else that I had a real relationship with (other then friendship). The man that I am dating now (have been since January) and I just decided that we are exclusive. I actually talked to him for eight months, but never really intended on meeting him. I was dating others as was he. Right now things are going great and I hope things stay great. You see, I admit I was lonely. I have family and friends, but its not the same as being in a relationship with a man and I missed that. Are some people online damaged? Yes, I guess everyone have issues in some way or the other. No one is perfect. I personally have not find that men online are any more damaged then anyone else. I feel a lot of them are shy, but they generally tell you that before you meet. When we met, I don't think I would have guessed that right away. There have been men where there was absolutely no connection, but none I thought had serious problems. There are some who are embarrased that they meet people online and lie about it. People lie about the reason they go into chatrooms, but why say this is all women who meet men online? Some are very open about what they do and their profiles state specifically they are their to find a signficance other. The truth is that sometimes I go online to meet someone and sometimes I go online for conversation or discussion. The man I met in the discussion group, I was there just to talk about history and we began to IM each other. I wasn't online at that time trying to meet someone. In fact, I was dating someone else at the time. I have only told a few friends. I have never told my mother that I met anyone online, because she is older I know she would not approve. I've told most people the truth about how the man I am currently dating have met. I admit I and many others don't tell people because I think we fear many will be judgmental thinking I was lonely and desperate. Lonely is such a dirty word. No one wants to admit to being lonely, but the truth is so many people are. Whether they are single or married. Now that I have found someone to share part of my life with, I admit I get offended when someone knocks the way that I met this person. If it doesn't work out. I will put it up to the fact that we were not meant for each other or whatever it is that caused the breakup. I'm surely not going to blame it on the fact that we met via the internet. You know if you are having problems with men online, perhaps it is the way you are going about it. I've probably met 20 + men since 2002 and none that I know of were criminals, losers or what I would call seriously damaged. We met in public places and they have all been respectful. Some were not the most interesting men, some talked to much about former relationships, some had quirks I could not deal with. I'm sure there were things about me, many of them did not like. One seemed to enjoy drinking a little bit too much, but he still held a steady job as a police officer! I'm going to be blunt, but perhaps the problem is with you and the men you attract. I've met men in chatrooms, a single's group, history discussion groups and people who just see my profile and IM me. (The relationship I am in now I met the man in a history discussion group.) There are things I look for when I am speaking with someone in an IM or through emails. Spelling, grammar, sentence structure all give me indications of a person's intellect. I look for people who are up on current events, well read and have professional occupations. You know if you have met so many men and have not found any perhaps the problem is *you." Maybe they were as equally disappointed in you as you were in them. Maybe you did not have selective criteria and just met anyone without weeding out those who were not your type. The truth is that many people have met online and have long lasting relationships just as many people who have not met online have short-term, superficial relationships. You can't stereotype one type of meeting people. If I don't find my "soul mate" via the internet, right now I still will not regret it. Many of the men have opened up a new way of life to me and have cultural doors to me which were closed because of the area where I am. It's been a fun experience.





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