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Why is this turning into a Debate...We haven't heard back from the original post and he did mention at the end of his post "there were more details"

I stick by my post / reponse to what I stated....REREAD the post...

OK, the guy is 36...His WIFE "saved" him from Safe Destruction in his younger years...SO, did he stay in a boring marriage out of guilt or the mother figure his wife brought to him? He's asking US permission to leave his wife for a new woman who he says is soulmate...

I didn't read anywhere on his post if he tried working on his marriage before leaving it...BUT....why has he waited this long? Because He Met Someone?
Why couldn't he leave on his own, divorce his wife, figure out what he wants now that he's older and wiser?

SO...as I see this.... his wife Saved him from Safe Destruction cause he couldn't do it on his own...and now He found a Soulmate to save him from missing out on the LOVE he has never felt...

As for his son...He also said his son would be torn apart if mommy & daddy were no longer together...HOW DOES HE KNOW THIS??? Has this been discussed?

Bottom line...If the marriage is DEAD..then Leave...but Leave for yourself not because you have someone waiting for you...
MadSkillzGal - your missing the point to the post...

FYI: my issue is NOT about the child involved..Children have a way of adapting to divorce....I am divorced with a 15 yr old son...He was only 1 when we got divorced...

My issue is the guy...He has stayed in a loveless marriage and is only leaving it because he met someone else...If he didn't meet this other woman, who lets not forget....is going through a divorce..Would he still stay in the boring marriage...Why can't he just leave on his own without involving a 3rd party to his marriage....He wants our opionions, suggestions, and Permission that it's ok to leave your wife for someone else and I'm not going to give it..

Leave your wife or husband because the marriage is over not because your afraid of bring alone....
But isn't his affair a RESULT of the boring marriage not the cause?
[QUOTE=ana_24]But isn't his affair a RESULT of the boring marriage not the cause?[/QUOTE]

Even if we assume that the answer to your rhetorical question is a "yes," does he not own half of the responsibility of allowing the marriage to become "boring?" As GirlHarley said, we don't know what (if any) effort he has put into his marriage before now. A lackluster marriage is not necessarily a dead one, and is certainly not justification for infidelity (IMO).
[QUOTE=GirlHarley]MadSkillzGal - your missing the point to the post...

FYI: my issue is NOT about the child involved..Children have a way of adapting to divorce....I am divorced with a 15 yr old son...He was only 1 when we got divorced...

My issue is the guy...He has stayed in a loveless marriage and is only leaving it because he met someone else...If he didn't meet this other woman, who lets not forget....is going through a divorce..Would he still stay in the boring marriage...Why can't he just leave on his own without involving a 3rd party to his marriage....He wants our opionions, suggestions, and Permission that it's ok to leave your wife for someone else and I'm not going to give it..

Leave your wife or husband because the marriage is over not because your afraid of bring alone....[/QUOTE]
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Have you ever thought that he didn't realize all this UNTIL he met this woman? Sometimes when you are in a situation for so long you don't realize that your marriage is loveless, lacklustre, and boring. Ok, so he met someone else while married. IT HAPPENS................A LOT! He would not be the first person to do it nor the last. Second marriages are usually very successful - IF it ever got that far.

I don't think he's afraid of being alone, he's just had his feelings awakened by another person whilst still married. I think any human being can understand that.
[QUOTE=newlywedgurl]Even if we assume that the answer to your rhetorical question is a "yes," does he not own half of the responsibility of allowing the marriage to become "boring?" As GirlHarley said, we don't know what (if any) effort he has put into his marriage before now. A lackluster marriage is not necessarily a dead one, and is certainly not justification for infidelity (IMO).[/QUOTE]
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you'd think technically yes he would be responsible for half of the situation. But sometimes you can be the life and soul of any situation and be married to someone who refuses to get involved in any form of social activity etc. That person could also be someone who refuses to keep the love life fresh. Then what? Are you responsible for that? NO! Should you have to put up with that? NO!

Wow you guys really believe that whatever the circumstances, marriage really is till death do you part. Don't you realize that the average human changes IMMENSELY from 20 to death?
newlywedgurl & MadSkillzGa...Ladies...I'm ready for a DRINK..are you? LOL :)
We have been discussing this all morning..back & forth...Oh, I have been cleaning my house at the same time and waiting for the SNOW to arrive in New England...Great, just to go snowblow...

ANYWAY...we can agrue this all day...I'm suggesting we have a drink and after some shots together...Decide if this post is cheating or having lusting thoughts of what "could' be or what "will" be...

You know men...(and some woman too) they will be in a relationship/marriage and think...OH...I want some lovings elsewhere but.....don't want to leave the nice nest I have "just" incase the lovings "elsewhere" doesn't work out I can go back to my boring life...Then be single and you hurt no one...

Madskillz I'm sure you have your reasons for how you feel and I bet if we went out for drinks...we would have a hell of a time debating over this..
but ending the night laughing......with a hangover the next morning. :cool:
[QUOTE=GirlHarley]newlywedgurl & MadSkillzGa...Ladies...I'm ready for a DRINK..are you? LOL :)
We have been discussing this all morning..back & forth...Oh, I have been cleaning my house at the same time and waiting for the SNOW to arrive in New England...Great, just to go snowblow...

ANYWAY...we can agrue this all day...I'm suggesting we have a drink and after some shots together...Decide if this post is cheating or having lusting thoughts of what "could' be or what "will" be...

You know men...(and some woman too) they will be in a relationship/marriage and think...OH...I want some lovings elsewhere but.....don't want to leave the nice nest I have "just" incase the lovings "elsewhere" doesn't work out I can go back to my boring life...Then be single and you hurt no one...

Madskillz I'm sure you have your reasons for how you feel and I bet if we went out for drinks...we would have a hell of a time debating over this..
but ending the night laughing......with a hangover the next morning. :cool:[/QUOTE]

OK....can drink now! It just hit noon!! :bouncing:





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