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Re: Jealousy
Mar 21, 2004
[QUOTE=Salinas1]You have jealousy confused with plain and simple poor manners and lack of respect. The "you don't trust me" rhetoric is often a smokescreen for trouble. You were dissed, not the other way around. Her "I care for you deeply" conversation is somehow not well aligned with the behaviors she displayed (at least as you present them).

Just a caution to keep an objective eye open as you move forward with this girlfriend. Things are far more often what they appear to be than they are what one wants to say they are.[/QUOTE]

Yeah, I didn't fully explain everything because I was running late for work. But now I'm here at work and I can elaborate a bit more...

The thing is that I trust her fully. I just don't trust other people. I mean, I know she's just having fun and I fully support that. But when drunken guys meet friendly women.. I know what goes through their minds, I'm a guy too. Well, I screwed up too because I went overboard. I overreacted and asked the guy we met there if he would give everyone a ride home that night because I was gonna leave. He said he would and I said thanks. I went back to the car and got all of their things out and went back in and handed all their stuff to them and said I was leaving. At that moment the lights all came on in the club and she looked at me when I gave her all her stuff back. (at this time she's sitting at our table with our friends again). and she asks me what's wrong. And I said "you're asking ME what's wrong!?" and we get in an argument and she told me if I had a problem all I needed to do was go over and talk to her instead of just go to the extreme. And I thought about it and she was right. I made an *** out of myself that night and it was all messed up. Well, the whole deep conversation stuff came up about a half an hour later. We sat in the car and she said she was sorry about everything and that she fully understood how I would get pissed off in that situation but that I needed to talk to her if I was getting upset. She said she would've gotten upset if the tables were turned as well but that she would never just dump off my stuff and leave me somewhere with my friends. And so we were supposed to go out to breakfast with her friends right afterwards so we made our way north about 30 min away. On the way there she told me that she loved me and that she wanted me to be in there for the rest of her life and that she knew she shouldn't have acted like that at the club etc. And so then we stop at the restaurant and talk a little bit more and then she told me that she didn't want to scare me off but she wanted me to eventually be her little girl's daddy. And I told her it didn't scare me at all. And then she started crying saying her baby's father was a real jerk and that it's going to be really hard to tell her daughter that I'm not her real father. And then she really started crying and all of a sudden we're talking about all kinds of problems we're dealing with and we sat outside of this place for a long time. I told her I'd always be there for her and I don't want to bore you all with every little detail so in the end it all boiled down to communication. There was none that night and I went off the deep end.

What hurt me was when she said "Joey, I'm not a *****, ok?" immediately after the incident. Because I totally didn't think she was being one.

Anyway, that's pretty much the whole thing in a nutshell. As we went home around 4am, she told me that the best part of the entire time both day and night, was when we were playing catch in the backyard with her daughter. She said that when I'm with her and her daughter it just feels so right and makes her feel at ease, comfortable, and very happy. She said even her mom told her that she looks complete now. I think I'm just afraid to lose her, I don't know. Relationships... Just when you think you know it all, something new and wild happens. I've never been in that situation before because my last girlfriend and I never went out to clubs or anything like that and I told my girlfriend that last night. And she said we need to talk if something's wrong so it doesn't get out of hand. She also said "I told you not to be jealous if I was dancing with someone else multiple times tonight" Which she indeed did and I thought I could handle it, but I couldn't. Everytime I started to get really jealous, I'd walk up near her and she'd throw her arms around me and start kissing me.

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