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[QUOTE=GirlHarley]dentalnitemare - OK, I read you response and I hope you read this...

Maybe cause I'm different? I don't know...I have a 20 year old niece and like I said in my earlier post I'm very close with all of my niece's..Anyway, this one niece who knows how much I love her and I give her my unsolicited advise but she's knows it's for her own good as well as I have lived a wild life
and she know's some of the things I have done in my past...but I have nothing to be ashamed about..some regrets yes but I can live with myself.

She is involved with a loser guy, "I DO NOT APPROVE" now mind you this guy has never done anything to me.... but Auntie's does not approve. I told her so. She got mad at me, actually swore at me which being an adult and her aunt she was out of line on the swearing at me and I slapped her and told her she could be mad at me, I still love her no matter what but I would not be spoken to in the manner she did, because I am still an adult. She apolized and told me she understood...My sister backed me up on this but still allows her to date the loser boyfriend..I have explained to my niece I want her to have the best in life, more then I have, and I don't want her to make my mistakes in relationships. SHE is a beautiful, intelligent, bright girl can do so much better....The guy smokes pot, doesn't have a job, doesn't have his driving license, doesn't have a HS degree, no clue where he lives, talks trashy...I know I'm not her mother...that's my sister's daughter...but that's for another post..LOL My niece knows no matter what I still love her and I will always be here for her, she can come and visit but don't want the kid at my house....I buy her clothes, I take her out to dinner, I call her and direct her with her going back to school, I encourage her with her singing career and also packed her a care package when she went to New York to audtion for American Idol...

SO...if you are close with your niece and are comfortable then YOU need to step up to plate and tell her what a loser boyfriend she has and if HE can come on to YOU god knows who else he is doing it to......[/QUOTE]

I love you Girlharley. I think you are the best aunt that someone can possibly ask for. A 20-year old has no clue what they want in life, and they are often very impressionable and insecure. I wish you were my aunt when I was 22 and got involved with a much older and completely wrong man who managed to ruin my life. I wish my mother had slapped me then and said "no, you can't go out with this man under any circumstances. he's not your "true love" and you are not allowed to date him." God, I was SO stupid back then. I had no good judgement whatsoever. So, yes, I think you should talk to your niece and try to convey to her what a loser this guy is. He cannot be trusted, obviously. He might be hitting on a lot of women, nobody knows. Being involved with a guy like that is the fastest way to a heartbreak. Especially if he's physically cheating on her. I can't stress that enough how dangerous a cheating man is, both to your emotional AND physical health. Tell your niece she's a wonderful girl and deserves much better. I think knowing what I know now, I would probably handcuff my daughter to the bedpost (theoretical dauther, that is) rather than allow her to date a scumbag who's not valuing her.

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