It appears you have not yet Signed Up with our community. To Sign Up for free, please click here....



Relationship Health Message Board


Relationship Health Board Index


Yikes... as far as representing the "22 year old" female in this thread, I am 22 - female, a bit insecure and slightly jealous, but good grief - even recognizing this in myself... what she got upset about was absolutely ridiculous.

A joke about a salad.

I have no issues pointing out to my current bf when I think he isn't thinking about me (IE: We planned to see a movie together for a few weeks and were finally going to go recently - he got a free ticket from his boss to see it with coworkers, and took it and planned to go without a second thought to our plans, that pissed me off) - but ... this seriously seems asinine. A joke about a salad. She must be seriously insecure.

I won't say "you need to run! dump her!" because I think if you love this girl that's pretty extreme. You need to understand how much you're willing to work with this on her, because while people say 'some people never change', if someone gives them the time and effort and HELP in encouraging GOOD behavior - it IS possible. If they're absolutely set in only themselves and refuse to see what they're doing (like if she can't admit that she was being a little over the top - I always admit this when I realize I'm being pmsy or over-emotional with my boyfriend) as lame - well then there's no hope.

But if you can just dish it out when this kind of things happen (I don't believe in waiting until you're in a good mood, from what I know of myself and friends I tend to fester on it and get bitter if it's not discussed quickly) and put your cards on the table in a calm way, I don't see why you guys couldn't train eachother how to react to these situations with her and your personality types.

"I'm sorry you feel I'm not comforting you or if you feel I'm not thinking of you, but from my standpoint I thought we were joking around - I honestly didn't believe you were being serious and I meant what I said in humor... is something else bothering you? I don't understand why you're getting upset over this salad thing, but I'd like to so maybe we can avoid this kind of misunderstanding between us in the future."

I know you're annoyed when this stuff happens and it's hard to be patient, but that might be what she needs to see she's being unreasonable. My boyfriend has been very upfront with me despite my being a fairly emotional person. I can't say how much I've appreciated his patience (and in return it's taught me to ask rather than accuse first - "Were you thinking of me or am I just feelnig you weren't because of how you said this or that?").

Could be a good practice to get into. You can work with someone to smooth out the rough edges - perhaps not fix it, but if you communicate you learn more about eachother and how to best bounce off eachother and come out on top of things in the relationship when you have a disagreement.

Just my opinion ... 22 years old. what can I say?
[QUOTE=Destea]Yikes... as far as representing the "22 year old" female in this thread, I am 22 - female, a bit insecure and slightly jealous, but good grief - even recognizing this in myself... what she got upset about was absolutely ridiculous.

A joke about a salad.

I have no issues pointing out to my current bf when I think he isn't thinking about me (IE: We planned to see a movie together for a few weeks and were finally going to go recently - he got a free ticket from his boss to see it with coworkers, and took it and planned to go without a second thought to our plans, that pissed me off) - but ... this seriously seems asinine. A joke about a salad. She must be seriously insecure.

I won't say "you need to run! dump her!" because I think if you love this girl that's pretty extreme. You need to understand how much you're willing to work with this on her, because while people say 'some people never change', if someone gives them the time and effort and HELP in encouraging GOOD behavior - it IS possible. If they're absolutely set in only themselves and refuse to see what they're doing (like if she can't admit that she was being a little over the top - I always admit this when I realize I'm being pmsy or over-emotional with my boyfriend) as lame - well then there's no hope.

But if you can just dish it out when this kind of things happen (I don't believe in waiting until you're in a good mood, from what I know of myself and friends I tend to fester on it and get bitter if it's not discussed quickly) and put your cards on the table in a calm way, I don't see why you guys couldn't train eachother how to react to these situations with her and your personality types.

"I'm sorry you feel I'm not comforting you or if you feel I'm not thinking of you, but from my standpoint I thought we were joking around - I honestly didn't believe you were being serious and I meant what I said in humor... is something else bothering you? I don't understand why you're getting upset over this salad thing, but I'd like to so maybe we can avoid this kind of misunderstanding between us in the future."

I know you're annoyed when this stuff happens and it's hard to be patient, but that might be what she needs to see she's being unreasonable. My boyfriend has been very upfront with me despite my being a fairly emotional person. I can't say how much I've appreciated his patience (and in return it's taught me to ask rather than accuse first - "Were you thinking of me or am I just feelnig you weren't because of how you said this or that?").

Could be a good practice to get into. You can work with someone to smooth out the rough edges - perhaps not fix it, but if you communicate you learn more about eachother and how to best bounce off eachother and come out on top of things in the relationship when you have a disagreement.

Just my opinion ... 22 years old. what can I say?[/QUOTE]


Great Post! :cool: Well Destea, for being a 22 year old and pointing out some excellant advise! You are smarter then me when I was 22 years old and this is coming from a 42 yr old female.
Hope the younger ones including this Post Starter learned something from your post.
Your a Wise 22 year old! :wave:





All times are GMT -7. The time now is 04:58 PM.





© 2020 MH Sub I, LLC dba Internet Brands. All rights reserved.
Do not copy or redistribute in any form!