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HI Bambi27 - I'm glad you had a good weekend. Your boyfriend from your post sounded he was honest with you and You sound like you know what your doing...

Oh...I know your not going to like what I may say as I also hestitated responding to your post. And I'm sure you may get some other feedback, but I have to say this from my own experience...but sound alot smarter then me...

OK, Your boyfriend has made it known, he loves you and your kids and is very well aware of your Package Deal, he loves your girls, wants a clean house, he's going to try...OK, so far so good...You said you want no games either he is in or out, and if he starts on you again you are prepared to move on from this relationship. SO, here you are, the single mother of two who has everything going for her, your going back to school to better yourself, why have this added burden on your shoulders? Why then, let him live with you and your girls? He loves your girls..Well he should since he loves you. You are a package, what about your GIRLS...they love him, what are you going to tell them when he decides HE can't handle your life with your girls?
Why can't the guy just live on his own and you continue to date him rather then have him live in YOUR SPACE? I don't want to sound like I'm harping on you because You have your Act together, it's just this one puzzle that keeps popping out at me. From my own experince, HIS issues regarding your girls and keeping a clean house...will not go away. If your prepared...then more power to you...
[QUOTE=GirlHarley]HI Bambi27 - I'm glad you had a good weekend. Your boyfriend from your post sounded he was honest with you and You sound like you know what your doing...

Oh...I know your not going to like what I may say as I also hestitated responding to your post. And I'm sure you may get some other feedback, but I have to say this from my own experience...but sound alot smarter then me...

OK, Your boyfriend has made it known, he loves you and your kids and is very well aware of your Package Deal, he loves your girls, wants a clean house, he's going to try...OK, so far so good...You said you want no games either he is in or out, and if he starts on you again you are prepared to move on from this relationship. SO, here you are, the single mother of two who has everything going for her, your going back to school to better yourself, why have this added burden on your shoulders? Why then, let him live with you and your girls? He loves your girls..Well he should since he loves you. You are a package, what about your GIRLS...they love him, what are you going to tell them when he decides HE can't handle your life with your girls?
Why can't the guy just live on his own and you continue to date him rather then have him live in YOUR SPACE? I don't want to sound like I'm harping on you because You have your Act together, it's just this one puzzle that keeps popping out at me. From my own experince, HIS issues regarding your girls and keeping a clean house...will not go away. If your prepared...then more power to you...[/QUOTE]


No I appreciate everything everyone says. I can handle critisizm (sp?).
Ok I love the man. Why would I NOT want him here with me and my girls?
Yes we do have our problems. But even married people that live together and have kids have problems. And they do the best to work them out while together.
If he shows me (which he has been lately we will see if it lasts or not) in the long run that he wants to work it out and truly tries his best. YES I will marry the man.
I wouldn't say that he is a burden. Just tough to deal with. But what man isn't *snicker*.
We are going through a tough time, he doesn't beat me, doesn't mentally abuse me. He is just simply honest in how he feels. I can not take that against him. He is at least being honest with me.
Is he going to change? I don't know. But I do want to find out.
But I'm not going to kick him out and have that strain our relationship even more cause I did do that NOT giving him the chance to show he can change. I don't believe that is right either. That shows that I'm not trusting in him to make the changes he says HE wants to make.
So yes I am going to stick it out for awhile longer. As I stated before though. If he doesn't show me he is going to make the changes he says he is going to or wants to, then I will end it.
I don't have an issues with that.
IF it comes out that he can't deal with it or that he needs or I have to have him leave. I will simply have to tell my girls the truth. That NOT everyone is ready to be with someone with children cause it is a big change and not easy to deal with for everyone. And make sure they understand it's NOT their fault he left. And not to blame themselves.
I went through a big ordeal with my oldest daughter when her father and I split up after 6 years.
She always blamed herself for our break up. But she did start to understand and does understand now that it was not her fault. Just simply me and her father did not belong together. I don't really believe it matters WHY a relationship doesn't work. Or if the adults live together or not.
If children are involved (with the adults living together or not) they are going to get hurt regardless. They are going to have a hard time understanding WHY the relationship did not work out.

So you may do things differently. More power to you. But not everyone is the same and not everyone is going to agree on why people do the things they do.
You don't have to agree with me and you don't have to understand why I do the things I do. I never asked for you to. No offense.
But yes I am going to stick around for awhile longer and see if he makes the changes he says he wants to make.
If it doesn't turn out that he is.
Well fine, he is gone.





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