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Relationship Health Message Board


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Hi Everyone...i Am A 23 Yr Old Male And Recently Broke Up With My Girlfriend, 21, Of More Than 2 Yrs. When We First Started Dating I Was So Happy To Be With Her And Have The Opportunity To Date Her. She Was My Longtime Highschool Crush, But Had A 3 Yr Long Boyfriend Throughout Highschool. We First Started To Get Intimate The Summer After Her Senior Yr And She Was Still With Her Boyfriend. After 3 Wks Of This She Broke It Off With Him And Continued To Date Me For About 3 Wks Until She Got Back With Him. I Was Hurt But Ok With It Because I Had Not Gotten Too Emotionally Attached. Then 6 Months Later We Started Dating Again. She Had Been Broken Up With Her Ex For About 4 Months. We Became Close Really Fast And Have Dated Since For Over 2 Yrs. At Times I Could Tell She Still Had Feelings For Her Ex When We Were In The Same Social Situation And It Really Made Me Feel Uneasy And Insecure. By The Time I Realized She Still Had Feelings For Him, I Had Fallen In Love With Her. It's Not Like They Kept In Regular Contact, But Whenever We Would Be In The Same Social Situation She Would Talk To Him For A Large Portion Of The Night. This Made Me Feel So Insecure And In Turn I Began To Treat Her Badly At Times Verbally As My Way Of Not Getting Too Attached. I Have Dealt With These Feelings For So Long Now And Was Always Scared To Fully Commit And Love Her, Although Emotionally I Know I Had. We Really Were Perfect For Each Other In My Eyes And She Said This As Well. We Had So Much Fun Together. I Also Found Out About A Yr And A Half Into Our Relationship That She Had Cheated On Me With Her Ex On 3 Occassions. I Loved Her So Much That I Took Her Back As Hard As It Was On Me. It Was So Hard To Get Those Insecurities Out Of My Head And The Fear That I Would Lose Her To Her Ex. We Have Been Having A Rough Time Since And I Admit I Have Not Been The Nicest To Her At Times Because Of This Situation. It Was All Because Of Her Feelings For Her Ex. I Felt Like She Didnt Love Me As Much As Him, Although She Talked Constantlyabout Marrying Me And Starting A Future With Me. Then 3 Wks Ago She Broke Up With Me. I Was Devastated And To Make Matters Worse She Had Gotten In Contact With Her Ex That Very Same Day To Recindle Their Relationship. For The Next Two Weeks She Told Me She Still Loved Me And Needed Time To Figure Out What To Do Before She Decided. Then She Told Me She Was Ready To Move On And To Get Over Her. It Has Been A Wk With No Contact And I Know She Has Seen Her Ex Since Then And Is Ready To Go Back With Him...so I Hear. I Am So Heartbroken And Cant Concentrate On Anything Else. I Dont Know How She Could Have Treated Me So Disposably When We Had So Much Invested In Our Relationship. How Could She End It With Me After Two Yrs And Start A Relationship With Her Ex After A Couple Weeks. I Feel So Used, And That I Was A Long Rebound Relationship. She Was My First Love And I Dont Know What To Do?? I Cant Get Her Out Of My Mind. It Scares Me To See Them Together And I Dont Know How I Will Handle It. I Guess What I Am Leading Up To Is I Feel So Much Guilt For How I Treated Her Many Times Because Of My Insecurity Over Her And Her Ex. Did I Push Her Away Or Was This Coming No Matter What I Did? Sorry So Long, But This Is Very Emotional For Me.
[B]We First Started To Get Intimate The Summer After Her Senior Yr And She Was Still With Her Boyfriend.[/B] RED FLAG

[B]After 3 Wks Of This She Broke It Off With Him And Continued To Date Me For About 3 Wks Until She Got Back With Him.[/B] RED FLAG

[B]It's Not Like They Kept In Regular Contact[/B] Are you sure???

[B]Whenever We Would Be In The Same Social Situation She Would Talk To Him For A Large Portion Of The Night.[/B] RED FLAG

[B]I Also Found Out About A Yr And A Half Into Our Relationship That She Had Cheated On Me With Her Ex On 3 Occassions. I Loved Her So Much That I Took Her Back As Hard As It Was On Me.[/B] RED FLAG

[B]Then 3 Wks Ago She Broke Up With Me. I Was Devastated And To Make Matters Worse She Had Gotten In Contact With Her Ex That Very Same Day To Recindle Their Relationship.[/B] What a *itch!!

[B]I Dont Know How She Could Have Treated Me So Disposably When We Had So Much Invested In Our Relationship.[/B] ...When YOU had so much invested in your relationship.

[B]I Guess What I Am Leading Up To Is I Feel So Much Guilt For How I Treated Her Many Times Because Of My Insecurity Over Her And Her Ex. [/B]
Why are you guilty? That wasn't insecurity honey. That was intuition!!! And unfortunately, it was right!

[B]Did I Push Her Away Or Was This Coming No Matter What I Did?[/B]
How could you have pushed her away? She's the one who has always had the upper hand in this situation. This girl is TROUBLE!!! And if you let her, she will just continue to bounce back and forth. Don't let her play you for a fool. It's a shame you and her other ex can't get together and BOTH tell her to **** off!!!!!





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