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Here's an update. We had a long talk on Friday night about everything that has been going on. Basically he said the reason he's been distant is because he has been trying to figure out in his own mind how he's going to prioritize his life. Between me, his daughter, his work, moving and friends vying for his time, he feels like he's being stretched too thin. His ex moved his daugther about an hour away last Fall and since then, they've seen much less of each other than before. He has her every other weekend and can see her once or twice during the week. However, with his crazy work ours, lately all he's seen her is for those 2 days every other weekend. Over March break, he took a few days off to spend with her only to discover that his ex without consulting him shipped her daughter to her parents, 5 hours away. His daughter has been really upset with him about spending so little time together. I have been as well. To me it's more about the quality of time than the quantity but regardless, we've had little of both since January.
He told me that the main issue that's been on his mind is that he feels overwhelmed with everything. He feels like he can't give me what I deserve and that he's not very good boyfriend material and for that matter right now father material. He hasn't been prioritizing very well and all this has been weighing him down. Basically he can't just put his work aside but hopefully in another month or even less, things will settle down and he will be able to get back to normal working hours. Once that happens, he'll be able to spend more time with her, more time with me.
He apologized for his behaviour and becoming distant. He said it has nothing to do with all those silly little things that we may have been fighting about. His words were that those things don't make or break a relationship.
He carries a certain amount of guilt for not being able to give his daughter and me what we need. He said he loves us both so much but he can't seem to make us happy. He said he needs time to think about how he will be able to achieve that. He doesn't want to loose me and he's scared that he is. Anyway, bottom line is that I offered to give him some breathing space until his work situation comes down. He is being stretched too thin and hopefully this will help a little. We both booked off a week's vacation in June to go to the Carribean to unwind. In August he will take another week off to take his daughter camping. Right now he is looking for a new place to live since he has to be out of his current place by the end of May. Once all that is settled, things should start to get back to normal. We're probably not going to see each other this week but next weekend we're going to book a couple of nights in a B&B and spend some quiet time together, no laptops, no blackberries, no cell phones. Just us and a king size bed and a jacuzzi. We both believe we're going to work through this, we just need to keep talking. I told him that the worst thing was not knowing what was going through his mind. Now I do and I feel so much better because of it.





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