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Relationship Health Message Board


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[QUOTE=trystme]I don't necessarily I cheated on my ex-boyfriend many, many times over the years that we were together and I can say with certainty that I did love him. [/QUOTE]
I am glad you contributed. Your perspective is of value.

At the heart of your position is the question of how do individuals define love. What is love? Most people, even if they don' take the time to break it down as such, see love defined as a feeling reinforced by behaviors. Among those behaviors ascribed to love are loyalty, commitment, concern, dedication, etc.

To say I love someone, and to not honor these behaviors that are inextricably tied to the use of the word love leaves most highly suspicious of anyone that freely uses the term but does not apply the behaviors. Most would say that love is of minimal value were it not or these behaviors to accompany this "feeling".

Now to my question. Do you define love as something beyond a "feeling"? Do you say that love cannot exist without certain behaviors associated with it? Can someone love someone and beat them, for example? If someone abuses another person and insists they love them, is this possible in your concept of love? If it can, can you descibe the value you might associate with a "love" that can be accompanied by "unloving" behaviors. How would that kind of love be defined?

Genuine questions here and not meant to be leading or judgemental.





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