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Why Now??
Apr 18, 2004
I feel like I'm going crazy...maybe someone can help me...

This past summer I met a really great guy. We either talked to each other or saw each other every single day for the first month of going out, then we settled down to seeing each other a few times a week for the next two months. He was the first one to say "I love you" and brought up the topic of marriage and kids, etc. In the very beginning I had some niggling doubts as to whether we would stay together for a long time, due to religious differences, and our individual outlooks on life (quite different). But the more time I spent with him, the came to believe that these differences didn't matter to me, and that as long as we communicated and talked about everything, I didn't have a problem with anything. But...as they say "all good things must come to an end" and in November we were talking about where we saw ourselves 10 years from now...and the talk went on to getting married, having children, raising children when parents have such different spiritual backgrounds, etc. and he told me that he couldn't see himself raising children with a wife whose beliefs are so different from his own. Then he told me how he wanted to raise his children and it was quite different from how I've always imagined myself doing it...anyways - to make a long story short, we talked about everything relating to the future for both of us, and I realized that those doubts I had had at the beginning, he was now having, and thinking about. So, we broke up, but said we'd remain friends. The first 3 weeks I was so upset. We were still talking and hanging out together as much as we had when we were going out, so I always put on a happy face when I was with him, but at home I was crying every time I thought about him. After those first weeks, I realized that all my crying wasn't going to change anything, so I became determined to be a really good friend to him and I ended up really enjoying just being with him in a "friend" capacity. I also saw him objectively, and realized that it was good we broke up when we did, before it had progressed too far, and just through talking with him, I realized how different we actually are, and that we're not "right" for each other romantically.

Phew!

Now...it's 5 months later and I've been having a great time hanging out with him, doing buddy stuff, etc. but in the past month I've started crying about him all over again, and I don't understand why!! He's also started working at another job, which doesn't give him lots of extra time to hang out with friends (he's working 7 days a week in 2 restaurants), but I find myself missing him incredibly and if I don't talk to him for a week or two I get horribly upset and imagine all sorts of scenarios, like he's out with his church friends and having a good time without me, or he's out meeting new girls, or he's met a new girl and is spending all his time with her. Ack!! I really don't want to feel this way and I really want to stop crying over him. He is a wonderful guy, and I want him to be happy, so I don't know why I'd be jealous of him meeting someone new and going out with her...it's just driving me nuts trying to figure out why I'm so upset all the time!

Can anyone help?





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