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Ok apart from the sibling comment. I can identify with you exactly on this one. I think most women can identify also.

I know JUST how you feel. Had the same damn thing exactly.

Isn't it just the most heart wrenching thing to give someone your absolute all and best for a significant amount of time to watch them just take a backward glance at your efforts in vain with either a sneer, or no feeling whatsoever.

I've always said theres nothing harder than loving someone that don't love you. Apart from death, I really think there's nothing comparable to it.

Realistically what can you do? I mean you've given it your best shot, he's under no disillusion of how you truly feel and it's throwing no weight here. I remember asking someone advice once when I was in your shoes. Obviously when you ask advice, what you really mean is "please tell me the opposite of what I already know" because you are already aware of the situation in its entirety and you're just clutching at straws. So you analyze every damn last detail of your conversations, your time together, your time in bed etc....every freaking last drop of them you scruntinize hoping to find the root cause of WHY you aren't a couple TODAY. I asked my friend, "why are we continuing like this so long...he gives a bit, I give a bit and then nothing....we're not friends with benefits, but we're not a couple...why aren't I getting my shot?". He told me "that WAS your shot". I had to think about that one, because on first appearance, it was quite cryptic and open-ended.

I thought about it and realized he meant, we'd spent significant amounts of time together, we'd had vacations etc, slept together, so if we weren't a couple now we never would be. And he was absolutely right.

So essentially my advice is this. Grief openly, don't worry what other people think of you. I sobbed everywhere for a good two months...at work, shopping, eating, in bed....literally everywhere I was a wreck, sadly at that stage I found it uncontrollable. But in time I worked it through although back then it seemed i never would.

And today? I'm 95% there. There's always that little scarring or wound which remains open when you've been hurt so deeply and of course it's natural to put the barriers up so it doesn't happen again.

But stop torturing yourself, there's nothing wrong with you per se, it's just you are not this man's type. Big deal. There are hundreds of men that potentially COULD love you so take advantage of that. I know you don't love them, you love him...but cut the contact, nothing, nada, zilch and allow yourself that time and space to get over him and move on constructively with the rest of your life.





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