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well, a minor update.

Apparently she didn't get my txt message from last night. She called me early in the morning today was cheery and asking me if I could bring the car seat that was in my car to her best friend's house whenever I woke up tomorrow. She said she didn't want to even ask me during my work days because she wants me to relax and sleep and have that time to myself. I said ok. And she said "Are you excited that your weekend begins tonight?" And I told her "I guess so" and she asked what was wrong and I said "you didn't get my txt message at all?" and she said she didn't. And so I just told her about the dating site and all of a sudden, all that cheer she had was totally gone. And she had a very serious tone to her voice and said "it's not updated" and I felt like being such a smartass and saying "well then, that dating site is pretty freakin smart to know your current routine and your daughter's age" but I left it at that and just said "Yes. It is" and I told her that she had logged in within 24 hours and she swore up and down that she didn't. And finally I just got super pissed off and said "you know what? You really REALLY shouldn't be lying to me right now" and she kept on acting innocent. I told her to go check it out herself if she didn't believe me and she said. "I'll go look at it and call you back" Of course I don't expect her to call back so I just roll over and go back to sleep. About 10 minutes later she calls and she says "I found out why it was updated." and then she goes on to tell me that her friend has her password to this site and that she went in there and updated it because she thinks that my girlfriend should be "dating other people" and my girl told her that she was happy and that her relationships are none of her business. etc. She then goes on to tell me that she has never logged on since I told her to put her picture up.

I want to believe her. I really do. But I still have doubt. She's going on like nothing happened pretty much but I'm still over here bothered by it.
[QUOTE=Joseph Orion]well, a minor update.

Apparently she didn't get my txt message from last night. She called me early in the morning today was cheery and asking me if I could bring the car seat that was in my car to her best friend's house whenever I woke up tomorrow. She said she didn't want to even ask me during my work days because she wants me to relax and sleep and have that time to myself. I said ok. And she said "Are you excited that your weekend begins tonight?" And I told her "I guess so" and she asked what was wrong and I said "you didn't get my txt message at all?" and she said she didn't. And so I just told her about the dating site and all of a sudden, all that cheer she had was totally gone. And she had a very serious tone to her voice and said "it's not updated" and I felt like being such a smartass and saying "well then, that dating site is pretty freakin smart to know your current routine and your daughter's age" but I left it at that and just said "Yes. It is" and I told her that she had logged in within 24 hours and she swore up and down that she didn't. And finally I just got super pissed off and said "you know what? You really REALLY shouldn't be lying to me right now" and she kept on acting innocent. I told her to go check it out herself if she didn't believe me and she said. "I'll go look at it and call you back" Of course I don't expect her to call back so I just roll over and go back to sleep. About 10 minutes later she calls and she says "I found out why it was updated." and then she goes on to tell me that her friend has her password to this site and that she went in there and updated it because she thinks that my girlfriend should be "dating other people" and my girl told her that she was happy and that her relationships are none of her business. etc. She then goes on to tell me that she has never logged on since I told her to put her picture up.

I want to believe her. I really do. But I still have doubt. She's going on like nothing happened pretty much but I'm still over here bothered by it.[/QUOTE]

Is this the same best friend who told you she can be a real b**** sometimes? I don't know, it sounds like her friend could be trying to make trouble. I'm just guessing, but if this update of her profile is the only thing you have to go on that maybe she's not sincere, I'd give it a little more time. If she seems steadfast otherwise, I wouldn't let this one incident weigh too heavily on the relationship. Give her the benefit of the doubt for a while. BUT...as far as being a nice guy goes, I'd say don't be shy to bea nice guy, but what out for why you're doing it. It's really hard to explain, but I knew a guy who thought he was a really "nice" guy. We got together to work on a mutual interest project, and I made it clear from the very start that I wasn't interested in romance at all, he still had designs. Like, I would come over to his house to work, and he'd say "but you have to stay for dinner." We went to a club and he wanted to buy me a drink. This was when I still didn't know him that well and I just don't like men i don't know buying me drinks, and they didn't have what I wanted so we went to a drug store a few doors down and i took an ice tea out of the store fridge, and he grabbed it and twisted it out of my hand and said in a stern, almost angry tone of voice "I"M going to buy you a drink!" Now, he thought he was being nice by buying me a drink, but how many points do you think he lost by how he went about it instead of just respecting my desire to not have a strange man buy me a drink and giving me my space? The truth was he wasn't a nice guy at all, he was a control freak and used being a nice guy as the means of establishing control so when I finally had to distance myself he could make himself feel better by saying "that b****, I was so nice to her, I did everything for her." When all he really did was try to control me. Sometimes I think men use the "nice guy" disguise as a means to assert control. Be careful that's not what you're doing. It's great to be kind, generous and nice, but only if you do it because you think it's just the right thing to do and you don't do it to get love or to assert control over someone and make them feel indebted to you. That will backfire every time. Don't just show your affection and appreciation for her by smothering her with gifts and attention and offers to do her favors. show her your appreciation by just listening to her when she talks, understanding when she's having a bad day, loving the way her mind works, loving what's in her heart, what she thinks is funny, her spirituality, her passion for sports, music or politics, the way she sings at the top of her lungs to the radio in the car, the way she loves her family/friends, etc etc. If you only love her for how much she lets you feel like a "can do" guy by letting you do things for her and how much she grovels in gratitude afterward, you're loving her for the wrong reasons.





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