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My best friend (who is like a sister to me) broke up with her long-term boyfriend a few of months ago and is has been dating this guy who is younger than her (she is 24 and he is 20, almost 21) for almost two months. She isn't admitting it, but I think that she is falling for him quickly. She is gorgeous and he seems smitten by her, but I am a little worried. I think that she is reaching a point where she is gradually beginning to look for someone to settle down with (which is why I think she broke off the other relationship - she says that she began realizing that she would not want to spend the rest of her life with her ex). She says that she is not yet falling in love and that she is in control, but we've been friends since we were 13 and I know better! He seems responsible and mature in the way that he treats her, but still pretty young in mind. He is also a good-looking guy (she is just as good-looking of a girl) and I'm just afraid that she may get her heart broken! I'm afraid that he won't want to settle and that she will.
[QUOTE=mizvespa]My best friend (who is like a sister to me) broke up with her long-term boyfriend a few of months ago and is has been dating this guy who is younger than her (she is 24 and he is 20, almost 21) for almost two months. She isn't admitting it, but I think that she is falling for him quickly. She is gorgeous and he seems smitten by her, but I am a little worried. I think that she is reaching a point where she is gradually beginning to look for someone to settle down with (which is why I think she broke off the other relationship - she says that she began realizing that she would not want to spend the rest of her life with her ex). She says that she is not yet falling in love and that she is in control, but we've been friends since we were 13 and I know better! He seems responsible and mature in the way that he treats her, but still pretty young in mind. He is also a good-looking guy (she is just as good-looking of a girl) and I'm just afraid that she may get her heart broken! I'm afraid that he won't want to settle and that she will.[/QUOTE]


I am 24 (will be 25 in July). I met the most wonderful man I have ever known last June. He was 20 years old (and had just turned 20!!) At first, I was pretty stand-offish about his attempts to date me, but he very quickly won over my heart. We spent a LOT of time together, but began "dating" in the middle of July. Two weeks later, we were engaged. We got married in December, and just returned from a weekend away to celebrate his 21st birthday. I love my husband more than anyone in the world. I voiced reservations about his age at first to my mother, who said to me, "You have dated men your age that treated you like *****. You dated a man 14 YEARS older than you who was a committment-phobe and treated you like *****. You dated people a handful of years older and they treated you like *****. What difference does it make that he is younger than you?? He adores you, is responsible, and treats you like you deserve to be treated!" She was right, of course!! If your friend was 20 and the guy was 24, it wouldn't be an issue.

We both dealt with the comments and raised eyebrows when we announced our engagement. I am the most practical, rational person you could know. I do not make rash decisions, am very independant, and well-educated. Of course, there were the "Is she pregnant?" comments and the "He's HOW old??" comments. My former boss even asked me straight out one day "You really plan on marrying him don't you??" Like it was the most incredulous thing she ever heard.

I hate to sound harsh, but it is really not your place to judge your friend. Trust me, if they do end up together, she'll remember how judgmental you were and how you did not support her. Everyone took issue with how we had not known each other very long. But you know what?? We both "just knew." I had no doubts. And still don't.

You can spend 5 minutes talking to someone and "know" that you can't stand them. Hell, you can dislike someone you have never talked to...Just because "there's just something about them!" But no one ever questions that. Support your friend. Who cares how old he is if he is good to her?!

Just wanted to offer you another perspective!

Cheers,
Newlywedgurl





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