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[QUOTE=soulster]Everyone has told her everything.. it has been going on for over a year now.. and instead of completely breaking it off with him, everyt time he pulls another stunt or treats her badly she goes off about what a jeerk, ******* and evil person he is. I am just fed up and now I feel like she is not the angel anymore, after all she is with him knowing full well that another girl out there is under the mistaken impression that she has a committed loving relationship that is going to turn into a marriage soon... I have told her that what she is doing is just as bad as what he is doing and she states that she does not think so... that it is up to him and his fault for cheating on this girl, not hers... why should she take such a responsibility...
What do you guys think... is she totally innocent of all wrong by participating in this reltionship? I feel she is.[/QUOTE]

First of all, your friend's man doesn't just have another girlfriend, he has a fiance. And why are you so sure his fiance is under the "mistaken" impression that she will be his wife soon? Did he propose and give her a ring? Why do you say it will lead to marriage soon? If they are officially engaged, it seems he does have every intention of marrying this girl and your friend is just some last minute spice, just some wild oates he's sowing before he settles down. I think your friend is wrong in thinking she has any future with this man. Men NEVER tell a woman "if you meet another guy, go for it" unless he's trying to tell her, without actually saying the actual words, "I don't love you, I'm not committed to you, I'm not in this for the long haul, so don't wait around for me." Your friend needs to cut this guy loose before she receives his wedding invitation in the mail, or she's in for a world of hurt.
[QUOTE=GirlHarley]I'm with Newlywedgurl TOO!
But, I too do have opinions on the matter...I don't care if they are movie stars, rock stars, or country stars...I don't care for either Reba or Amy Grant and so Amy found her soulmate...good for her...But I don't like her because of what she did....SHE still went after another woman's man. She happy?
who knows...Are they ever in that Music World?

BUT....I too agree with Newlywedgurl that you don't die or it's haszardous to your health for being alone...That's a PROBLEM with the person who thinks that...OK, lets say woman, Sure it's nice to be in love and to be loved.
But having a MAN in your life is going to make all your loneliness go away?
There are so many things in life to occupy your time, why not visit the elderly in nursing homes who have lived a life and are stuck in those lonely places? Why not adopt a child who needs guidence and love? Visit or help in soup kitchens or the homeless who have lost their way in life?

I was alone for a few years...BY choice, didn't date, had no man to love, and I made the most of it....[/QUOTE]

It's a pretty sweeping generalization to say no one who makes a living making music is happy. That's a bit ridiculous, I think. But I think some of you may have misunderstood what I'm trying to say. First, I've had offeres from married men too. One man in particular really ticked me off because his wife came over to my house and he knew that I knew he was married and he still hit on me. I thought he was scum after that. I don't condone jumping into bed with whomever asks you to, married or not. But I don't think that's what the original poster is talking about. The original post says her friend is seeing a man who has a fiance. Is she wrong for doing so? I'm just saying who knows? It's not as black and white as we'd all like to think it is. Life isn't a hollywood movie where everyone wears a black or white hat and everything wraps up nicely at the end, good guys rewarded and bad guys punished. That's not how real life works. If this guy continues to lead his fiance on, and sees this other girl as well, then this girl is probably being played for a fool and should leave. If this guy decides he doesn't want his fiance anymore, he'll dump her timely enough and be with the one he does want. Anytime you fool around with a married or engaged man, it's risky and most of the time, foolish and 9 times out of 10 you're not going to get what you want. It's best to find someone who can commit to you. Sometimes you fall in love with someone and they fall in love with you and they just happen to have a spouse at the time, but more often than not, messing with a married or engaged person is a dead end road. And one last note, being alone by choice feels a whole lot different than having aloneness thrust on you when you don't want it. Sometimes loneliness is hazardous to your health. To say otherwise is to deny part of the human condition. yeah, you can spend time with the elderly, volunteer till your face turns blue, I myself am volunteering tonight when I get off work for an auction to benefit an animal hospital, but when I get home, I'm still going to bed alone. Some people take that harder than others. But that's a different subject, not really related to the topic at hand, and not really sure how it got to be part of it.

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