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My ex girlfriend and I have started talking to each other again and I felt that we really had this friendly chemistry between us. Something we only had in the beginning of our relationship. Well she's happily with someone and I definitely didn't want to tread on her relationship you know? And so after we talked some I suggested that her and her boyfriend go out sometime and get a drink or two. Maybe a dinner, playing pool. Anything. And she said no. She basically said she couldn't hang out with me because "it isn't right" I told her that I have no feelings for her like that anymore and that since we were best friends before our relationship, we could be friends again. I told her that I was happy that she was happy with someone and she still said it wasn't right. I told her that I didn't think it was a big deal because we were going to be going out together, not alone. I don't want her boyfriend to be jealous or uncomfortable and so I wanted to get to know him so that my ex and I could become good friends again. She said she doesn't even want to talk to me on the phone. And then I guess it really hurt when she said "You are an old chapter for me, and Richard is the new chapter in my life. I don't want any of that mixing" and I understand that it truly is how it is but I guess I had this false sense of friendship. I told her if she wants me to remain a screenname to her, then I guess that's what I'll have to do to be her friend. I asked her what it would take to be good friends again and then I suggested the very ridiculous idea of us both being happily married first and she said "I don't know, could be..." So I don't know. I think if 2 people want to be friends, then it can work.
[QUOTE=mary2468]well, i actually had to meet her a couple days ago, and it, it was awkward. we met them out at a bar, where she was already hanging out w/ a couple of his friends (including his roommate), so she was really drunk by the time we got there, while I was completely sober. she said it was sooo nice to meet me, that she'd heard a lot about me, and she gave me a hug, but it could have all been fake...who knows? i don't really care if it was fake or not...i didnt want to hug her back, but i wasnt about to be rude to my boyfriend's "friend." i really had nothing to say to her....i mean, my mind was literally blank. needless to say i was relieved when i made my escape and only hung out w/ my boyfriend the rest of the night. besides introducing her to me, he didn't really talk to her at all, so i guess they're not that good of friends. i dunno...i guess it just kinda bothers me b/c he doesnt understand that it IS awkward for me, regardless of if they're friends or not, b/c to me she's still just his EX! maybe im just being picky...or bratty, i dunno. we didn't get into any fights over it or anything...i just ended up getting a little upset about the whole situation in front of him and cried a little (the [U]first time [/U] he's ever seen me cry). he was really good though...he held me and made sure i was ok, and asked why i was upset and all that good stuff....i guess im just worried about this situation coming up again, and how i should handle the whole kinda hoping she just fades out of our lives.

ps sorry for rambling ;)[/QUOTE]

I think you handled yourself Great! You do not sound bratty at all, your boyfriend doesn't understand because, sounds like he has no feelings for his ex at all and HE did spend the night w/you...Sounds like you have a great guy there and your feelings are totally understandable...

I'm sure the upcoming visit is making you uneasy and you have every right to feel this way, your only human with natural emotions.. sweetie...You did a great job the first time meeting the girl and you can do it again...She will fade out soon enough..Just stay strong, positive, look your best :) hang with your boyfriend but don't smother him, don't get mad if you see him have a conversation w/her..join him, don't act jealous because Your better then that and You do get to go home with him after.. :wave:
good luck... :)

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