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Hi,
I have posted here before about all the problems that I have been having with my soon to be ex husband.
For those of you who don't know, my husband and I were married for 5 years, and he was very verbally and mentally abusive and at times physically abusive. We have two small children ages 4 and 5.
I knew that our marriage was not good, but was not very willing to admit to myself or my family that I had made a mistake. While I was at home with my children on maternity leave, my husband was going out all the time. Would not come home from work for hours, was out drinking with his buddies. Then I found out that he was gambling all of our money away. I confronted him about it, and I was told that it was "his money" and he would do with it what he wanted.
Soon I began suffering from an extreme panic disorder, and was physically sick ( lost 26 pounds, constant headaches, bad stomach, etc.) I began going to a councellor to try and cope. I asked him to come with me, told him that we needed to go to marriage counselling. He looked me right in the eye and told me that I was the one who was f------ up, and I was the one with the problem. Told me if I ever tried to leave that he'd take the kids away from me because I was a basket case.
I worked with my cousellor for over a year and began to regain control of my life- and I am proud to say that I did it without any meds.
Through the last four monthes of my marriage, I began talking to a male friend of mine who was going through a divorce of his own. There was nothing going on other than talking ( I am sure that you all can agree that it is nice to have someone else to talk to that can relate to what you are going through)
I did start to develop feelings for this friend, but while I was still with my husband it never went beyond friendship.
I left my husband over a year ago now, and in the beginning of our seperation, he threatened me constantly. Then he began telling me that he wanted to get back together. He swore that he had changed. I went over to his place one day to pick up the kids ( we have split custody) and he was saying things about me to the kids. I got angry and told him he had better watch his mouth, and the next thing I know I was knocked to the ground. I knew for sure then that he would never change.

I have been seeing my "friend" for about 10 monthes now and things in my life are perfect. I am in love with him and he treats me like gold. I have also been accepted to go back to University to get my degree in social work. I have to move about 2 hours away, and I want to take my kids. My ex is going for custody. I am scared to death. I live in Canada and in our legal system it is what is best for the kids. I am afraid because I am moving to the city from a small town, because I will be a full time student instead of working that they will award my ex custody.
I don't want to stay here and work a dead end job. I want to be able to provide for my kids the best that I can- I want the stability.
Can anyone tell me of their experience with this. I am tired of the constant worrying and losing all this sleep.
I need my kids with me. I have also told him that if I was to take the kids that he could see them whenever he wanted, I am not trying to take them away from their dad. I just feel that I would be the better parental home for the kids.
Any thoughts??
Sorry my post is soooooo long!!
Makenna





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