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Relationship Health Message Board


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Have you tried to make adjustments between you and your wife in this marriage or are you just resigned to this is the way it is.. take it or leave it...I think that you guys should work on it together, you have alread y said things about her that make you feel less of a man... have you told her these things.. have you tried to rectify them??? Leaving in my opinion is not the answer, you said that you have low self esteem... you need to work on that first... after all if you cant love yourself.. how the heck are you going to love someone else, inlove or not??.. if you do find someone you fall inlove with... when you guys get married or start living together, whose to say she she wont start dominating you as well becuase of the low self esteem you carry. People pick up on these things and then take advantage of them... and you will probably be left in the same place you are now. So, you REALLY need to start taking a more active role in this marriage, make more decisions, take on more responsiblity and voice your opinions wether she likes it or not... you honesltly will need to force yourself to do this until you come to a point where it will feel like second nature. Do this for yourself and not just because of the marriage. You can even read books on self empowerment, take classes... This is where I think you should start... you will build up your self esteem which will make it easier for others including your wife to start respecting you. If ater all of that... you are still not happy... then go and start a new life for yourself... but first work on improving yourself and see if that improves your marriage and your perceptions of your wife. It just might... or it might not.. but at least you will come out of it a better man.
[QUOTE=soulster]Have you tried to make adjustments between you and your wife in this marriage or are you just resigned to this is the way it is.. take it or leave it...I think that you guys should work on it together, you have alread y said things about her that make you feel less of a man... have you told her these things.. have you tried to rectify them??? Leaving in my opinion is not the answer, you said that you have low self esteem... you need to work on that first... after all if you cant love yourself.. how the heck are you going to love someone else, inlove or not??.. if you do find someone you fall inlove with... when you guys get married or start living together, whose to say she she wont start dominating you as well becuase of the low self esteem you carry. People pick up on these things and then take advantage of them... and you will probably be left in the same place you are now. So, you REALLY need to start taking a more active role in this marriage, make more decisions, take on more responsiblity and voice your opinions wether she likes it or not... you honesltly will need to force yourself to do this until you come to a point where it will feel like second nature. Do this for yourself and not just because of the marriage. You can even read books on self empowerment, take classes... This is where I think you should start... you will build up your self esteem which will make it easier for others including your wife to start respecting you. If ater all of that... you are still not happy... then go and start a new life for yourself... but first see if improving yourself improves your marriage and your perceptions of your wife. It just might... it might not.. but at least you will come out of it a better man as a result.[/QUOTE]

That is a VERY good point! He might just be the type of guy who tends to attract domineering women. After all, he let her dominate him all these years without protesting much. Fred, if you decide on option 2, you have to become less afraid to rock the boat and introduce some changes. After all, you have nothing to lose and a lot to gain. Yeah, start by demanding to have a portion of your paycheck and pay the bills yourself. And take up dancing lessons with your wife. Nothing brings out passion and connection more than dancing together. I love it and miss it so much.





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