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Relationship Health Message Board

Relationship Health Board Index

Well thank you Salinas Ė but actually, Iím on the same page with you and was going to suggest to the post to hold off Ė You, said it better then I could have. Your post was very good and to the point. :)

I donít want to sound like a hypocrite either Ė I was seeing my boyfriend for 6 months when he mentioned buying a house together.
We were both older me being 37 at the time and he 38 Ė
I spoke to my son who at the time was also 10 years old as the post and asked him if he was comfortable with the new relationship, buying a house, and living together. My son was all for it. My boyfriend privately spoke to my son and asked my sonís permission to marry me, then when my brother visited me my boyfriend asked my brother permission to marry me to without my knowledge of any of this. Then he spoke to me about marriage.

I do agree that making a commitment of living together with an S/O while children are involved sends mixed messages to them. Donít do it for financial reasons, donít do it because you want to try it out before marriage, do it because itís a commitment of leading to marriage, and a stable environment for yourself and child. Again, I must be sounding like a hypocrite because Iíve been engaged now going on 4 years and still havenít set a date due to financial reasons Ė but the only financials reasons for myself is the future of my sonís education to college. My son knows this and knows he will always be my first priority in any of my lifeís decisions till heís out of college. It has worked for us but I didnít know it, we can not predict the unforeseen future of our decisions when children are involved and trying to have a relationship. All I can say is to speak to your son, listen to him, give him the confidence and security that he is and always be your number one man in your life.

If your son says no and is uncomfortable with it then please don't do it.

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