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Relationship Health Message Board

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Re: Still in love
Jun 3, 2004
[QUOTE=SophiaM]I completely understand you. For years, I also tried to make myself "perfect" so that I can be with a great guy. It doesn't work. I look around and I see all these other "imperfect" women, whether it's physically imperfect, or in case of some people I know, with far from perfect personalities, and they have boyfriends/husbands. I know someone who was still sleeping with her ex when she first married her husband, but he forgave her and now they have a great marriage. I've never once cheated on anyone. I'm loyal, understanding, dependable, loving, and committed. Where did that get me? Nowhere. I don't know what the answer is, I truly don't know :confused: When/if the right guy ever comes along, we won't have to be so "perfect." Just look at your neighbors. Some of them are overwheight, or walk around with unwashed hair and shabby clothes--and they're married, sometimes to great and good looking guys. I am at a loss.[/QUOTE]

I know how you feel, Sophia. Like my ex's wife. Our mutual friend tells me they "fight like cats and dogs." He said he was on the phone with my ex a few weeks ago and he said "ow" all of a sudden and cursed, and apparently his wife hit him or threw something at him and started yelling at him about something. He told me about another time when this mutual friend had some relatives come out and see them play (they were in a band together) and my ex went over and talked to them during a break, and his wife, I think then she was just his fiance or girlfriend at the time, started screaming at him in front of everyone because she thought he was scamming on some chicks, and she didn't know they were this other guy's relatives. She apologized, but still. I never yelled at him in public. Even when he yelled at me to shut up during a pictionary game we were playing with his friends, I waited until the game ended and I took him aside and told him firmly but respectfully that I didn't appreciate being yelled at and being told to shut up especially in front of his friends, and in the future he needed to find another way to vent his frustration that was more respectful to me. But for some reason he'd rather be with this woman than with me. I know I could be very hypercritical, anal and demanding, my family sometimes teasingly calls me "Monica" because I can be so much like Monica Geller, Courtney Cox's character on friends. I know I made mistakes, but I just don't know why I don't deserve a second chance with someone to try to do better.

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