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[QUOTE=AliDawn823]I'm not in love with him - I wouldn't let myself get that close after our three month conversation. I just really liked him and cared for him and was hopeful of it being something more.[/QUOTE]

Ali, I think you were very smart to be so in control of your emotions and not let yourself get too involved. I'm not telling you what to do about this guy, but if I may, allow me to just relay some of my own experiences. I met and dated a guy who told me about 3 weeks in that he was in love with me. I had never heard those words before and had never said them before, so it took me off guard. I didn't handle it very well, but took my time and told him that it was hard for me to say and it was so soon and just because I didn't say it didn't mean I didn't feel it, then I got the distinct impression he wanted to hear it, so I decided it was time to decide if I could say it. I spend a week soul searching and trying to figure things out and decided I really did love him and meant it and wouldn't take it back, so I summoned up all my courage the next time I saw him and told him, and he waited till that minute to tell me he no longer loved me. I should have left him then and there, but a couple of week later he told me he did love me after all, and we went on for two more years, on and off, and in that time he gave me the "let's take a break" talk, the "I need space" talk, and every time I'd hang around waiting for him to call and he did, then finally he decided he'd had enough and just said one day "I don't want to do this anymore." I said "but you said you loved me" and he said "I thought I did but I was wrong." He gave the lame excuses too, not financially stable yet, not sure if we were compatible, blah blah blah, but the bottom line is he never loved me. He was still struggling financially when he met the woman he ended up marrying. He claimed to be really religious and that he wasn't sure if my values were in synch with his, then he turned around and shacked up with a woman with many of the qualities he said he would never want. I've been told they only dated a very brief period of time before they moved in together. It's just my opinion, but it's been my experience that when men fall in love for real, they know it right away and act quickly. When they hem and haw, it's only because they want to sleep with you or have the option to sleep with you, but don't love you and don't want to be honest about it, because how many women would hang around if they were honest and said "well, I don't love you, am never going to want to marry you, I just want to use your body as a warm hunk of meat for a while until I get bored or until something better comes along." I wish I had been as smart as you and had never allowed myself to fall in love with my ex. But keep smart and keep strong. Leave him alone totally. If he ever calls you, don't even talk to him. Stop emailing him, cut off all contact. If you think there's any possibility of your feelings growing for him, then play it smart and protect yourself. This guy doesn't love you, never has, never will. It's better you realize it now than a year or so down the road after you've fallen for him and have waited for the "something more" than never came. Then you'll really know heartbreak.





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