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[QUOTE=SophiaM]Hmm, but isn't it what men almost always say when things starts looking more serious? It's like a knee-jerk reaction with them. Every girl's I know boyfriend has pulled this stuff on them. Each of my boyfriends has said this, some sooner and others later, but they ALL say this "no serious relationship" line. I am not surprised she still continued to date him to give it a chance. I mean, feelings are not set in stone; they develop during the course of the relationship, so how can someone know for sure how they're going to feel a year from now? If they were having such a great time together, lots of chemistry, and the man is 30 so not too young per se, I would think there is a chance he was going to fall in love with her. Maybe I just don't know men at all. It really makes me wonder. One of my good friends has been dating this kind of guy for nearly 2 years. Do you think she's wasting her time?[/QUOTE]


Hi Sophia,

I too have been in relationships and have been told by guys - They were not looking for anything serious with me or with anyone. Of course it hurt but as I got older in life and no longer wanted to deal with the rift raft of dating
I came to the conclusion that if a man would tell me he was not looking to have serious relationship with me I had a choice to continue to date him knowing this about him or ending it myself so I don't get hurt. I also didn't just sleep with every guy I had a relationship with or dated.

AND...I'm not judgying anyone here for who sleeps with who or what choices they make to what they think of a serious relationship is when it comes to sleeping with someone. Heck, I too had chemistry with some guys that I thought we were good together - but unfortunetly, the other party did not think of me as good chemistry.

It's a risk you take when you hear these words coming from a men - I just would rather be with someone who WANTS a serious relationship with me then someone who "thinks" he may or may not. Then don't waste my time cause MAYBE I can find someone who DOES want a serious relationship with me. I learned when someone doesn't know what they want - FINE!
I do know what I want and I want to be with someone who too knows what they want. It really is that simple.

Is your girlfriend wasting her time? That is for her to answer. If the guy after two years dating her doesn't know what he wants - then she should tell him she knows what SHE wants and it's him, and if he doesn't want her after two years she will find someone Who does want her and appreicates her for Knowing what she wants. :cool:
Hey GirlHarley, I think your approach is probably the best. It's emotionally draining to wait on someone in the hopes they will change their mind. Your approach can save someone time and heartache. ON the other hand, we are always brainwashed, even by books like "the Rules," that a woman should NEVER, under any circumstances mention to a man that she wants a serious relationship, for she will scare him off for sure! Many women I know believe in this and just tiptoe around the guy, pretending they're ok with what they have, but deep down hoping the day will come when he makes her his wife. They think they can eventually "wear him down." I mean, why would any woman date a guy for 5,6, 7 years? Or even 2 years for that matter? Because she's hoping that he will eventually commit to her, maybe without noticing it ;) Like, one day, he wakes up, scratches his head, and says to mimself, "Hmm, I guess I love my girlfriend. she's pretty and she's a good girl and so devoted to me. the sex is good, and I've been with her for the past 7 years...hmmm, maybe I should propose!?" That's how we women think, let's face it. Very few women are able to be completely rational about it.

About my girlfriend--the guy is definitely very attracted to her, she's a knockout, but he does not treat her well. She pretty much has to go through major battles to get him to accompany her to any family events or special occasions (like weddings, birthdays, etc.). But I don't think she'll ever break up with him. SHe's like Fredrolin--she thinks all the guys out there are as*holes so what's the point in exchanging one for another. Plus, as she said she wants "THIS as*hole." I'm curious myself if anything will come of their relationship. It's kind of hard to watch though because I care about her and would like to see her with a guy who is treating her better. Oh well.





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