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[QUOTE=julia4luv] I have talked to my mother on 3 occasions about getting rid of this stuff, but she says they are HER memories and will not part with them. It is just a reminder to me about failures I have had. I want to see my father, but I have to deal with my mother when I go over. Dad will not get in the middle of this, he says its up to my mother if she wants to kept this stuff. What do I do?[/QUOTE] You're going about this in the wrong way, IMHO. ;)
Ask to meet your mom for lunch - just the two of you. Be pleasant. Don't attack. Tell her you understand that she has fond memories associated with these pictures and you AREN'T asking her to get rid of them. You don't even care how often she looks at them when you aren't around. However, inform her clearly that they represent to YOU a series of bad choices and a period in your life that you would prefer to put behind you. Request that she agree NOT to bring these pictures out for viewing when you and your husband visit. Extract a promise from her on this.
If she refuses to promise then regretfully inform her that you will be unable to visit her in the future (hint delicately that this means a restricted access to future grandchildren). Do this graciously but firmly. Don't accuse her. Don't get drawn into any arguement. Simply keep restating your position (it's called being "on message" :D ). As long as she insists on trotting out these photos, you must regretfully decline to visit.
You don't hafta meet your dad @ his home, you know. Offer to take him out to lunch/brunch/breakfast/fishing/movies, etc. etc. If he wants to see you, he'll come. If he doesn't, that's HIS issue.
Your allegiance now is to your husband first and foremost. This is an important test of how seriously you take your marriage vows. Stick to your guns, girl. It's time for your folks to grow up and let go of you.
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203/146/146 on the Fat Flush Plan for life and perky to the max! :D





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