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I met my boyfriend in college in the Fall and he graduated and moved back home to Maui in May. I am staying with him all of July , and leaving to go see him on June 25 (Friday! ) but...... yesterday was my birthday- and we talked plenty about it prior to it, (basically this whole trip was for my birthday), but guess who didnt call me and wish me a happy birthday- MY BOYFRIEND. I wasnt gonna sit there and call him on MY OWN birthday so I just didnt bother to get in touch with him. That night I couldnt sleep so i text messaged him "you alright?" because i was nervous something had happened.. this morning he text messaged back "hey baby im ok u ok?" and i was like "NO you forgot my birthday.." and he called and apologized and said he felt really bad. He said he was really busy this weekend- but then I had to get off the phone because I started to cry and i didnt want him to know I was crying over it. Whats your opinion on the situation? I want to forgive him but he is the most important thing to me and being "really busy" doesn't cut it for forgetting your girlfirends birthday. What should I do ? What should i say to him? Your opinions would be awesome, thanks...
Forget about it. That's right, forget about it. Some of the best men in the world have the brains of an ant when it comes to things like birthdays. I am not condoning it, I am just recommending you put it into perspective. I hope you were in a hormonal condition when you were crying over this, because if you were 100% clear headed and it bothered you enough to cry over, I am afraid you will either need to stiffen up a bit or get used to many years of opportunities to set off that crying thing.

In and of itself, it is just not a big deal. What I would do is take it into a broader context. Is he really, no I mean truthfully, a great guy in all other aspects? Is he respectful, kind, supportive, not overbearing or demanding? Is he loving and considerate. Does he share with you his life events and activities and want you to share yours with him. If he is all or most of these things, you've got to drop the drama over a missed birthday.
I have to disagree with the others a little. You need to let your bf know how important it is to you that your birthday be acknowledged (at least with a card or phone call that morning). Tell him it's very important to you, and you really hope he will remember next year, that you don't care about getting a gift but you do care that he remembers and wishes you a happy birthday. THEN let it go. If this happens again next year (or, say, Valentine's Day), you will need to have a serious talk with him. Some women do have to literally tell their boyfriends/husbands "tomorrow is my birthday (or Valentine's Day, etc.); please don't forget," which is really too bad, but what's really important is whether he's there for you in your times of need (illness, death in the family, etc.)
[QUOTE=ILikeRats]I have to disagree with the others a little. You need to let your bf know how important it is to you that your birthday be acknowledged (at least with a card or phone call that morning). Tell him it's very important to you, and you really hope he will remember next year, that you don't care about getting a gift but you do care that he remembers and wishes you a happy birthday. THEN let it go. If this happens again next year (or, say, Valentine's Day), you will need to have a serious talk with him. Some women do have to literally tell their boyfriends/husbands "tomorrow is my birthday (or Valentine's Day, etc.); please don't forget," which is really too bad, but what's really important is whether he's there for you in your times of need (illness, death in the family, etc.)[/QUOTE]
Part of your advice I don't quite get. You tell her to have a serious talk with him and let him know how important it is to her. Then you tell her that if he forgets again next year to have another serious talk with him. If the first talk you suggest she have with him does no good, what might the second serious talk she is to have with him do?
[QUOTE=D Licious]I met my boyfriend in college in the Fall and he graduated and moved back home to Maui in May. I am staying with him all of July , and leaving to go see him on June 25 (Friday! ) but...... yesterday was my birthday- and we talked plenty about it prior to it, (basically this whole trip was for my birthday), but guess who didnt call me and wish me a happy birthday- MY BOYFRIEND. I wasnt gonna sit there and call him on MY OWN birthday so I just didnt bother to get in touch with him. That night I couldnt sleep so i text messaged him "you alright?" because i was nervous something had happened.. this morning he text messaged back "hey baby im ok u ok?" and i was like "NO you forgot my birthday.." and he called and apologized and said he felt really bad. He said he was really busy this weekend- but then I had to get off the phone because I started to cry and i didnt want him to know I was crying over it. Whats your opinion on the situation? I want to forgive him but he is the most important thing to me and being "really busy" doesn't cut it for forgetting your girlfirends birthday. What should I do ? What should i say to him? Your opinions would be awesome, thanks...[/QUOTE]

I have been married 10 years to my wife and I am still taking special events classes that my wife holds once a month. She always has the class the day I have forgotten something. For a marrige to work it has to go both ways so she is taken the "please forgive me I am so stupid classes".

It does not mean he does not love you, he is just a man.
Know what I do?
A week or so before a Birthday or Anniversary I just say in a conversation, "Gee, can you beLIEVE my birthday is next Wednesday?" or "Hey, so what're we going to do for our Anniversay next week?"
They save face (cause you KNOW they don't have a clue about dates) and you get remembered withOUT feeling like your spouse just failed a love test (which couldn't be farther from the truth)
[QUOTE=D Licious]Well I go see him on Friday so ill make sure ill update you guys on what goes on, Thanks for your advice! Appreciate it very much![/QUOTE]
Where do you live? Have you ever been to Hawaii?
Ok, I gave it some thought and I'm not going to throw any stones or what have you - I guess my situation is totally different from the post. I do mark my calender for my birthday - so my boyfriend whom I live with can't possibily forget :p ....BUT....it's not to remind HIM it's to remind my dear lovely son who is at an AGE where he can READ, Write, text message people, use Instant message, and KNOW how to make a Bday card on the computer for his lovely mom! AND he still forgets :rolleyes: LOL :)
and on top of that, my boyfriend and I have a ritual of going away for our birthdays -

SO, for the POST - yeah, I would be upset in your situation - but please don't be too upset since - YOU are going to see him in a few days for your birthday and who knows - he may have a lovely surprise for you.

Have a Great, Fun, Trip, and HAPPY BIRTHDAY! :bouncing:
[QUOTE=Ruth6:11]No flames from here...
I'm just on the side of heading a problem off at the pass (i.e. reminding them ahead) rather than setting yourself up to be upset (if you have the average guy who at best has only a nodding acquaintance with a calendar)
It's not so much that they forget, but there are those who would make them feel that if they "really loved us" they would remember.
So not true!![/QUOTE]

We do what is important to us......
[QUOTE=newlywedgurl]We do what is important to us......[/QUOTE]

Exactly. I doubt these guys would forget their mother's birthday or an important meeting, for that matter. If they want to, they remember. Just because they're male doesn't mean they are justified to have memory lapses.





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