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Relationship Health Message Board

Relationship Health Board Index

Am I getting through it ok? Well yes and no. I have picked myself up, brushed off, and took off in a different direction--yes. My child? That's different. I regret him being the father, but if he wasn't then she would not be who she is. He's a looser no doubt. He has three kids by previous marriages (this is his 4th marriage) who are now 25, 17, and 18. Neither graduated high school. He was never there for them either. But he has so much pride in this 4th wife's daughter. It's as if he has bragging rights. Her father doesn't give her the time of day either according to him. My comment to him was, how can he have so much invested in her (for three years) but the ones he gave life to, he never had time for; let them fall by the way side. They don't acknowledge him now that they are adults. Nothing at Fathers Day, Birthday Day or any other day. My child is very well rounded. Does very well in school, plays sports, in the journalism club at school. At no thanks to him. That's good part...out of sight--out of mind. She doesn't care for him either. He'd never show up when he said he would, never came to any of the particulars at her school, never showed up at her games and so on. She could careless if she sees him.

That is great you have been married for 3 years to a wonderful man. I wish I could have had that. But I didn't. Don't look for something bad to happen and you could never prepare yourself for such anyway. You know the old saying...if you look for trouble--you will find it. Just live. The next thing youl know it will be 13 years, then 26 years and so on and so on. Remember nobody is perfect but God. So, if there should be some obstacles in your way go around them. This looser cheated on me 3 months into the marriage. I forgave like an idiot. So, he kept doing it. I filed for divorce and we separated for a while. He talked me out of the divorce. But as the old saying goes, "A leopard can't change his spots." The last time, I didn't let him talk me out of it, I filed and this time I stuck with it. But, as luck would have it, I was with child. After the birth, the divorce went through. The next day after the gavel had been sounded, I went to the nearest community college, told the dean of students I had just gotten divorce and I wanted to go to college to get a degree, but I didn't have any money. The school made me a short term loan. I've been in college since that day. Now I'm at the university level. I bought a car to get me from point A to point B. Two years later, I built a new home an upper middle class neighborhood. By law I had to notify him of the address change. He was shocked!! My comment to him...we fall down, but we get back up.

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