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Relationship Health Message Board

Relationship Health Board Index

I met my boyfriend about a year and a half ago and everything was great. We moved into together after only being together for three weeks. In the beginning he told me that I was the one, he wanted to marry me and I was the best girlfriend he has ever had. I thought he was the one and thought I was so lucky to have a boyfriend that loved me like he said he did.

About six months ago, we got into a discussion about his ex-girlfriends and I just was curious and asking him questions about them. He talked about the last two, but when I asked him about the first one which they broke up 11 years ago, he became very angry and said he did not want to talk about the past and that he doesn't ask me about my past. I, of course, became angry too because I feel like we should be able to talk about anything, since he calls me his best friend. We argued for a while and finally he told me that she was the girl that was the one and almost cried when he talked about her.

All of his friends and family say that she is a *****, skank, drunk and that they had a very volatile relationship and fought all of the time, she even smashed out all of his windows. He will still not say a bad word about her, he defends her when anyone says anything bad about her, even in front of me. In his eyes she is the perfect woman.

It has been almost six months since that conversation, and I can't get over it. I am a complete basket case. I think about her everyday and what they did together, what she is like, does he still think about her, would he pick her over me. I still bring her up to him and everytime it is a different story. Sometimes he says that she doesn't compare to me other times he says that she was his true love. I feel like I was lied to and tricked. My self-esteem has went down the toilet, I don't feel good enough and I cry everyday because I feel like second best; the fill in girl. I am going to school and since this has happened I can't concentrate, my grades are sinking and I am not happy.

Our relationship has not been the same since, I am very standoffish towards him and we even talked about breaking up last night. We decided to give it one more chance, but am wondering whether it is worth being with someone who doesn't love me the way I want to be loved. I don't know how to handle this, I never thought I would be second best to another girl. I really need advice on how others would handle this situation.

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