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[QUOTE=susieq0726]Take my advise: Let it go. You are driving yourself crazy and will drive him away in the process. It was 11 years ago! Maybe she did break his heart. So what? IT WAS A LONG TIME AGO!
The only way I can compare this (and this may sound morbid) but what if he had been married to this woman and she died, and was now dating you. Would you question him about his love for her? I know that is a little "far-out there" but here's my point: The people that come and go in our lives make us who we are today. Some come and stay, some go, some we forget, others we never forget, and some break our hearts. It's all part of the learning process of life. Don't let this destroy your relationship. It sounds that you have a great thing going and your insecurity may mess it all up. He sounds like he truly loves you. You have to remember that we ALL have a past, and sometimes some things are better left there. I know this because it happened to me. I ruined a great relationship with someone because I questioned his past. It drove a wedge in our relationship and we never recovered from it.
Focus on your future - Your future with him! ;)[/QUOTE]

If I dated a guy that had lost his wife, at least he would tell me in the beginning. My boyfriend told me that I was the one, the best girlfriend he has ever had; than a year into the relationship I get a slap in the face. I too have a first love but I am not hung up on him and if I were I would not tell someone else a load of crap about them being the one.
[QUOTE=always confuzed]i agree with all the responses. To keep comparing yourself to a girl from 11 years ago for 6 months straight is not only unhealthy to the relationship but unhealthy on your own mental health as well. It happened way to long ago to keep ranting about it for this long. Don't mean to sound harsh but i can't blame your man if hes more than annoyed with it. If it's that bad then stop nagging him about his past life that you were not present in and move on from the relationship, but good luck finding someone who has never had their heartbroken. He isn't with her for a reason, is now with you, that alone should say something. If hes comparing you then yes theres a problem, but he has told you he doesnt wanna talk about it. Being best friends does not mean you are entitled to his every emotional thought if it doesn't involve you...well or involve you for that matter. You need to let it go before you drive this guy away and only have yourself to blame in the end. He can't change the past nor is he wrong for having a past, that is something you have to accept. We all have a past, i've had my heart broken so has my dh...doesnt mean we don't love each other. :bouncing:[/QUOTE]

See, the thing is, he is the one that brings her up most of the time. Everyone does. I cannot get away from her. His family talks about her, his friends talk about her. They don't say nice things about her but I still hear about her at least 3 times a month even though is was 11 years ago. I honestly never brought her up because he told me in the beginning that I was the one and that I was the best girlfriend he has ever had, so it never even occurred to me that he was still in love with her until we were having a light-hearted conversation. He was asking me about my past relationships and I asked him innocently about his ex's and he became extremely pissed off. I did not badger him about it. He is the one that will make comments about her like, My first girlfriend had really big boobs, she was really good looking, we were best friends. I honestly try not to bring her up because I know I am not going to like what he says. It is hard to let it go, when it is in your face all the time.
[QUOTE=lolliegirl]See, the thing is, he is the one that brings her up most of the time. Everyone does. I cannot get away from her. His family talks about her, his friends talk about her. They don't say nice things about her but I still hear about her at least 3 times a month even though is was 11 years ago. I honestly never brought her up because he told me in the beginning that I was the one and that I was the best girlfriend he has ever had, so it never even occurred to me that he was still in love with her until we were having a light-hearted conversation. He was asking me about my past relationships and I asked him innocently about his ex's and he became extremely pissed off. I did not badger him about it. He is the one that will make comments about her like, My first girlfriend had really big boobs, she was really good looking, we were best friends. I honestly try not to bring her up because I know I am not going to like what he says. It is hard to let it go, when it is in your face all the time.[/QUOTE]


This was probably his first love. This is no excuse though for his action and he needs to get over her. You are someone new that he excepted into his life and you will never be that ex. nor want to be. That was 11 yrs ago and him and his family need to let it go.





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