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Relationship Health Message Board

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Re: Frustrated
Jul 4, 2004
Well, you'll just have to DO it, there's no way around it. Looks are not as important in a man as they are in a woman and I've seen a lot of even very attractive girls with average looking guys. Personality goes a long way, trust me. Also, there are plenty what you would consider average looking girls around too, who are not looking for a Brad Pitt look-alike but for a nice, reasonably attractive guy like themselves. You need to maximize what you've got. Remember Lyle Lovett? Not the most attractive guy in the world and yet he was married to Julia Roberts! Try to eat healthy, take care of your body, stay in decent shape, get a nice hair-cut (that can literally transform you from a "geek" to a cool dude), and refresh your wardrobe with a couple of stylish, contemporary shirts and pants. A touch of a nice cologne wouldn't hurt either, just don't overdo it. If you don't know what would look good, try to ask for advice from some of your guy friends who seem to have no problems dating women, or ask your best friend's wife to help you find some flattering clothes. Anybody can look good if they're well-groomed, clean shaven, and dressed nicely. Ok, so that's the external part--the easy part. The more difficult part is that you need to start building up your self esteem. Right now you're not very confident and that might be turning the girls off. One way I know of to increase confidence is sports. Do you participate in any kind of sport? It helps keep you in shape and exercise makes you feel good on a mental level too. Try it, what do you have to lose? Go out with your male friends and try to observe how they act when they approach women, what they say, etc, and learn from them. It really doesn't take that much. You can simply go up to a girl and introduce yourself. That's much better than any cheesy lines you could ever think of. Say "Hi, my name is Mark, what's yours?" Extend your hand to her, and then start asking questions, like "Have you been here before? Where are you from? Are you from the area? " You get the point. Just talk to her in the same way you would talk to a friend. Force yourself to overcome your shyness. If you don't try, you will never succeed. When you sense the conversation is going well, you can then suggest that you two meet for coffee or dinner sometime and ask if you could give her a call. You will know if a girl is interested because if she is, you won't be the only one talking. She'll help you with the conversation. You just have to take risks, there's simply no way around it. Some might reject you but some will be interested, trust me. Approach a girl who looks like a nice person, maybe also standing or sitting by herself somewhere, looking like she would appreciate some companionship. Believe me, there are tons of girls who are also very shy and would be so happy if a guy like you came up to them and talked to them. Ok, my post is getting too long already. Please try some of the suggestions here, you really have nothing to lose and everything to gain! Good luck.

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