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[QUOTE=ana_24]I was in a one year relationship that ended a few months ago. My ex and I were in love and he claims to still love me but due to circumstances beyond our control, we cannot be together. Things are finally over and for good. We've cut all contact.

Three weeks ago I met someone new and he is wonderful. He is definitely the "stable" kind of guy. Great job, just having a house built, nice car, wants a relationship, wants marriage eventually, wants children and exactly the kind of life I want. We are very compatible, same age, we have fun together but he is a little more on the serious side whereas I'm typically more attracted to the guys with a goofy or bad boy edge. Not really bad boys but men who tend to be more aggresive about getting what they want as opposed to always nice and sweet like this guy is. He is falling for me. As ridiculous as that may sound after only 3 weeks, I can tell that he is. He wants to see me ALL the time. We saw each other on Friday, on Saturday and before I left on Saturday he asked if he can see me on Sunday as well. I said yes but I knew that I wasn't really crazy about the idea. We did end up going to a movie yesterday so it's not like we spent that much time together but it's still 3 days in a row and today he would like to play tennis. I think if it were up to him, we would see each other every day.
Thing is, if he was my ex for instance, I would be all over that. I always wanted more time with him. This guy just does not inspire the same feelings in me. Although I go through stages where I'm really excited about the start of this relationship, most of the time I wish I was a little more into it. It could be that I'm still not over my ex and that's why I'm holding back from the new guy. Nothing has happened between us sexually. We've kissed a lot but he hasn't crossed any boundaries. He knows I want to take things slowly. Maybe once we have sex, things will change?

He seems like the kind of man who would spend his life trying to make me happy. I'm also a giver in a relationship so I think we would be very happy together but maybe just not have that breathtaking passion that I've had with my two exes. Those relationships didn't really work out so maybe this is the way to go. I just don't know. So many of my mom's friends have told me that the long lasting relationships are the ones where you are not floored by the man when you meet him but you grow to love and appreciate him over time. That's the relationship that lasts and is fulfilling, not the one where all you want to do is rip your clothes off every minute.
What do you guys think? Will the love and passion come or is this doomed to fail? By the way, we're both 26 years old. He also came out of a long term relationship in March.[/QUOTE]


Maybe you both need some time being that you just got out of long term relationships.

It all depends. Personally, if a guy is not my type I'll NEVER fall for him. I recenlty dated a guy, cute, nice person, etc but he was just so emotional and needy. One day we hung out in the evening and it had been a stressful day and I just wanted to watch a movie and have a beer and he kept saying 'are you okay' 'is everything ok' and asked when we didn't talk!! Its not like all i wanted to do was watch tv or anything, I just didn't want to talk at that moment. He seemed to want intense emotional experiences ALL the time and sometimes, i just wanna chill.

That said, he wasn't my type and it was never gonna work. I can't judge what kind of person you are and how you are in relationships but for me, if the guy is not my type, he's just not my type.

Also, i'm similar to you - i like a guy who is confident (but NOT arrogant) and charming who has a distinct personality, who exudes energy - not one who is like wallpaper paste.

I guess you should just go with the flow for a while see what happens.





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