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[QUOTE=mochi*]Hi guys,
So, the ex-boyfriend that I recently wrote about in my post "Should I ask for him back?" is coming to visit me from out of state. He isn't coming here specifically to see me, he used to live six hours north of here, and is going to stop and visit me on the way there. He told me this very recently after we hadn't talked for three months, I broke up with him six months ago when I moved out of state. We were trying top be friends, becuase we dated for three years and have been close friends for eight years. We are from the same town and all. Anyways, when we broke up, he was really bummed about it because he really wanted top be with me, but he respectedf that I had to be single for a while. Then, he started dating a distant friend of mine after a ,month. It broke my heart, and I tried not to take it personally, but it felt like I was easily forgotten and replaced. It was REALLY hard, I couldn't understand how he could move on so easily. It broke my heart, even though I had broken up with him. I felt totally disposable to him, and mayve that is how he felt when I left him. Anyways, I freaked out, fell into a really deep depression for a week or so, and developed a driking problem for a few months and was devastated. I was suprised at my reaction to it, honestly. Anyways, we saw each other over spring break, after he had been with the new girl for about a month, and we talked about getting back together, messed around a bit, and it was very dramatic. Then we didn't talk for three months, until about a week ago, and he told me he's coming to visit.
I haven't gotten over him AT ALL, in fact, I often wonder if he is "the one" and we should get back together. I have dated and gotten close to other men since, but I haven't met anyone special. I miss him ALL THE TIME! I am embaressed by how much I miss him, and that I want him back. But most of all, I want his friendship. He is very imposrtant to ,me and has been for a long time. So, my question is, should I let him visit, or is it going to break my heart all over again? He is sort of seeing that other girl still, but that is unclear. Is this a big mistake? I want to see him and catch up, but I am afraid we will either sleep together and regret it, or it will be great and friendly and I'll just miss him a bunch more. Or, mayb we will get back together? I am thinkig of asking him not to come visit, becaue I am still in love with him and it might be too hard, but I also want his friendship, and don't want to throw that away because of my old feelings for him. It's so confusing!!!! What should I do?[/QUOTE]


It seems like you two have unresolved issues that have yet to be addressed.

Firstly don' feel you were easily replaced just because he dated someone else so quickly after breaking up. I broke up with my boyfriend of 5 years who I loved more than anything in the world and started dating someone about a month later - just coz I needed a distraction and couldn't deal with the breakup. I definately wasn't over him or trying to replace him - he is absolutely irreplaceable.(and I ended up dating the other guy for a year, but he was never a serious contender for my heart) So don't feel like you were easily swapped, he may have needed someone to help him deal with your break up.

Secondly, maybe let him come and see you and see how it goes. I guess he'll be staying with you, right? Can't you come clean and tell him how you feel? It would be really sad if he were the 'the one' and you let it go. But if h'es not the one, at least you tried. It sounds like you guys had something really special.





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