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Relationship Health Message Board


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Hello everyone.

I am a 22 year old college student and am currently in my first serious realtionship with a guy I care about very much! We have been together about 8 months.

My boyfriend and I are completly opposite. I am quiet and introverted while he is a total people person. He is so confident and i really admire that in him.

When we are together just the two of us things are great. I'm really happy. However, when he is around his friends he says things that He wouldn't normally say around me. For example the other day when I was hanging out with him and his group of friends, two of the girls were talking about how they feel uncomfortable having the girl at victorias secret measure them for bra sizes. My boyfriend has to pipe in and say (in front of everyone), "would you rather have a guy measure you?" Then he pats me on the shoulder and says "I'm sorry but if they let guys work there, I would have to apply" I just thought it was a little disrespectful to say right in front of me. I just rolled my eyes. The fact that he was drinking probably contributed to this comment. I wasn't because I don't drink for personal reasons.... and this is unheard of from where I come from.

Anyway, I just don't feel comfortable hanging out with him when he is with his friends. They are all like him. Loud, outgoing. I'm not like that,I don't fit in. I don't have much in common with them. He thinks that I don't even try to be sociable with them.... its not that. I would give anything to be more outgoing. There are just not many people that I really clique with. I'm just a quiet person. To give you an Idea of where I am coming from... when I was a kid I didn't ever talk above a whisper. I was so shy. I can remember trying to hide under the luch table because I was too scared to eat infront of the other kids. So I have really come a long way, considering how I was before. It has taken me a long time to accept that I will never be a really whity outgoing person. So for him to say that I don't care, really hurts.

I've asked him if I am too shy for him and he has said "no". But looking at how outgoing his friends are and the fact that he doesnt think i try to fit in with them....I am starting to worry that things may not be working out. I'm scared that he going to start to resent me for my social shortcomings. He has said that all his friends girlfriends have fun when they all get together.Well they have all known eachother for years and they are all alike in their temperments. Most of the times those girls don't hang out with the guys... anyway, I'm not one of the guys, i'm his girlfriend.

I am beging to wonder what he even sees in me. I mean wouldn't he want to be with someone who is more like him and fits in with his group of friends? Maybe it is just my low self-esteem talking, but I am afraid of being used. I guess I really don't know where this post is going. His friends all thinkt hat I am kind of stuck up because I am quiet.

I don't know what to do. I don't want to break up with my boyfriend, but I feel like such a dissapointment to him. Can things work out between two people if you don't like to hang out with the other persons friends? Does anyone have any experience with this?

Well if anyone wants to respond to this long drawnout post....please do.
Thanks!





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