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Relationship Health Message Board


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Do you have issues with committment? I don't know you, but from what little you wrote, it sounds like when a guy gets close, you seem to push away.

My best friend is a lot like you, but her downfall is sex. Once they have sex, she usually starts to find things wrong with them and the relationship usually ends. She thinks that when a guy calls to much or wants to spend more time with her, he is being obsessive or possesive, when he is actually just being a normal boyfriend. She was forced into sex when she was 16. She has been to therapy and her therapist ties her relationship problems to this trauma in here life.

Has anything bad happened to you that would push you away from someone?
[QUOTE=Chrystnamigs]does this sound familiar to anyone else? This is the story of my life. Guy are interested in me and I dont feel the same. I am always interested in the ones who arent interested in me. Have always been that way....is it the chase i enjoy, the excitement, the drama??? I just dont get it and then when the guy I do really likes does start to show sings of being interested in me and calling a lot ect...i am like Ewwwww.

any thoughts?[/QUOTE]


How old are you?

I am guessing you are my age with your language and attitude. I am going to say these thoughts are normal. You probably never been in a longterm relationship before right?

In a lot of ways you are not missing out on anything. Wait till you are ready to settle. It may not be until years from now but that is your choice. Don't marry someone because you feel you have to and you are not happy. For now, just enjoy your life.
[QUOTE=blue_eyed_girl]Do you have issues with committment? I don't know you, but from what little you wrote, it sounds like when a guy gets close, you seem to push away.

Has anything bad happened to you that would push you away from someone?[/QUOTE]


No realy traumatic experiences in my life. I think I just get bored. My mother has always told me she thinks I like the excitement of the chase even though I am miserable half the time and when the chase is over I get bored. I also forget to mention that I always seem to fall for the loser guys, not the ones that treat me the nicest or how i deserve to be treated.
Wow! This message I needed "for sure"
I was just talking with my ex brother-in law this evening. We were discussing how people (myself included) fall into these cycles that aren't healthy for them, they know it isn't healthy, they want more, but why won't they do anything to change the cycle?
I wish I could say that after our discussion, I have all the answers, but I don't...
I am the exact same way...
I attract the "bad boy" but can't stand them because they hurt me...
I turn down "nice guys" because, frankly they either bore me or I have suspision that this "nice" guy is putting up a front and once i get to "know" him I will see his true colors and be more angry that he lied about being nice instead of just being his true "bad self"
I am divorced... So, I have been married and the divorce is ALL his fault.
I tried everything I knew to do and he is the ONLY man that I settled down with and he happened to be that NICE guy who once he got me he showed me someone else... 7 years later, I am single.
I have a nice neighbor who is on my last nerve.. He's to freaking nice...
I see a man going down the street with long hair and a motorcycle and that is who I look at... Do I really want it? No... Once i know I have his attention I have lost interest...
I do think it is about the CHASE... Because nice guys always want to please... But if a "bad boy" ACTUALLY falls for someone or wants to settle down with someone then you (we) have acomplished something that no other woman has... Then our job is done and it's time to move on...
I'm just guessing but it sounds good to me...lol
[B]Chrystnamigs[/B] When you get the point when you don't give the guy a chance what is going through your mind? Do you dump him because he doesn't have the same quality's as you or what you are looking for? What is your lifestyle? Do you go out a lot?
[QUOTE=eightball61][B]Chrystnamigs[/B] When you get the point when you don't give the guy a chance what is going through your mind? Do you dump him because he doesn't have the same quality's as you or what you are looking for? What is your lifestyle? Do you go out a lot?[/QUOTE]


Yes I go out a lot.....I have a great time, but I am also a very, very picky person, it is rare that I ever meet someone that interests me. Like for example, I met this guy this past weekend. He seems really nice, I talked to him most of the night, so I obviously was interested in him. I gave him my number, but He has called me this week way too much and I am already so turned off by that. Maybe I am just not used to that. Like I said I normally fall the players who rarely call.
[QUOTE=Chrystnamigs]Yes I go out a lot.....I have a great time, but I am also a very, very picky person, it is rare that I ever meet someone that interests me. Like for example, I met this guy this past weekend. He seems really nice, I talked to him most of the night, so I obviously was interested in him. I gave him my number, but He has called me this week way too much and I am already so turned off by that. Maybe I am just not used to that. Like I said I normally fall the players who rarely call.[/QUOTE]


K...This past guy may have been to much but have you ever bit your tongue on a good guy and tried to stick it out?
[QUOTE=Chrystnamigs]does this sound familiar to anyone else? This is the story of my life. Guy are interested in me and I dont feel the same. I am always interested in the ones who arent interested in me. Have always been that way....is it the chase i enjoy, the excitement, the drama??? I just dont get it and then when the guy I do really likes does start to show sings of being interested in me and calling a lot ect...i am like Ewwwww.

any thoughts?[/QUOTE]

Maybe its a defense mechanism because you're just not ready to leave yourself vulnerable to someone who actually might end up loving you. Maybe you're afraid to commit and prefere more shallow relationships that don't bring any risk of you getting hurt.

Or, maybe you just don't want a relationship. We are often wrong in assuming that EVERYONE wants a, b & c to be happy and truth is, some people are PERFECTLY happy with their x, y, z.
[QUOTE=Chrystnamigs]does this sound familiar to anyone else? This is the story of my life. Guy are interested in me and I dont feel the same. I am always interested in the ones who arent interested in me. Have always been that way....is it the chase i enjoy, the excitement, the drama??? I just dont get it and then when the guy I do really likes does start to show sings of being interested in me and calling a lot ect...i am like Ewwwww.

any thoughts?[/QUOTE]


yes i am sooooo the same way its like you know a man whos all that and more and then they get interested and ur like hold on a sec you cant be all that if ur likeing me get lost and move to the next hehehe





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