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Relationship Health Message Board


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I believe people who are cheating accuse the other person out of guilt sort of. They know what THEYRE doing, and if the other person does anything that they've done while cheating, it sends off an alarm in their head and they start accusing. If they went out with their guy friends for a boys night, and cheated...you can be damn sure the next time you want a girls night, he'll be on the defensive because he knows what [I]he[/I] did the last time he was out with his friends.

Tell-a-tale signs someones cheating : They get distant and less affectionate, and they get defensive at the smallest "Who did you go with, where were you" questions, that they usually didnt.

OR

They get extra clingy, affectionate...buy you things out of the ordinary...say sweet things, take you to dinner etc. They're making up for something you dont even know they did.

Its not always like that but a lot of the time. And sometimes they accuse you of cheating just so you can be too concerned with proving you didnt cheat, to catch them cheating.

I know when my boyfriend almost cheated on me, he got really distant. I'd been gone for a week. I came back to no emails, or phone messages. When i did talk to him, he didnt say he missed me or anything. We have a long distance relationship so we talk mostly on IM cause its cheaper. Usually I get 5 emails even if Im only gone for 3 hours. So I knew something was up. I accused him of being up to something...he finally fessed up that yeah, he'd had this girl friend of his over to watch movies in his room, alone...nothing happened, she tried, he pushed her off, stopped being friends. He still felt guilty and knew he did something he shouldnt have. But now everytime I go to watch movies with someone, or do things that she and him did he gets all defensive and doesnt want me to go because he knows what happened when he did what I was doing. And now that he almost cheated hes very paranoid that I will too.

I wouldnt tell her either. You'll just end up looking like the bad guy, they'll fight he'll pull the "baby you know I love you, I'd never cheat on you" crap, she'll believe him and he'll just learn to hide it better. What you might want to do though, is send her an anonymous letter...dont tell her who it came from, dont put a return address. And just say "Your boyfriends been cheating on you" etc, any other info you know. And let them hash it out. He's more likely to come clean if he doesn't have a source to blame for being psychotic. And you wont end up looking like the bad guy.





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