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Hi there,

Your boyfriend is 20 years old. Guys on the average just don't pay attention or think to include all the details when it comes to planning like the women do, especially the younger guys. No slam intended here because I love dating men, sometimes even the poor planners (smiling here).

I think it's great that he's included you in his plans - even if they are incomplete. And remember, just because you're dating him doesn't mean he thinks or reacts like you!

So you've got options:

[B]A[/B]
If you can't go along with his plans, or if you can't accept that his family dynamics are different than yours (meaning, if he doesn't want to ask his uncle, to him, his reasons are probably valid), then you may want to reconsider. You will have no fun if you are trying to change the way he did things NOW. You will probably be upset with the way he wants things on vacation.

[B]B[/B]
However, if you're devoted and care about him just the crazy-poor-planning way that he is, you may want to indulge his vacation and try it his way (poor planning and all) to see how much fun you can get out it despite the different way you would have planned a vacation.

[B]C[/B]
Or, you may want to suggest some other ways to plan parts of this trip so you both benefit - meaning, maybe you both can come to a happy decision in the middle about some of the specifics of the trip so it feels more like a planned vacation for TWO, instead of one making all the plans and the other tagging along for the ride.

So, do you have a reason to be mad? I guess it depends on how you look at this situation. I know some guys in their 20's would probably wouldn't have even wanted to invite their girlfriend along - and maybe he has no experience in planning a vacation with all the trimmings. If you can cut him some slack and offer some better ideas for making arrangements, maybe it's not so much as a reason to get mad but a reason to help him figure out how to plan a vacation better.

Good luck!
[QUOTE=White Sneakers1]Hi there,

Your boyfriend is 20 years old. Guys on the average just don't pay attention or think to include all the details when it comes to planning like the women do, especially the younger guys. No slam intended here because I love dating men, sometimes even the poor planners (smiling here).

I think it's great that he's included you in his plans - even if they are incomplete. And remember, just because you're dating him doesn't mean he thinks or reacts like you!

So you've got options:

[B]A[/B]
If you can't go along with his plans, or if you can't accept that his family dynamics are different than yours (meaning, if he doesn't want to ask his uncle, to him, his reasons are probably valid), then you may want to reconsider. You will have no fun if you are trying to change the way he did things NOW. You will probably be upset with the way he wants things on vacation.

[B]B[/B]
However, if you're devoted and care about him just the crazy-poor-planning way that he is, you may want to indulge his vacation and try it his way (poor planning and all) to see how much fun you can get out it despite the different way you would have planned a vacation.

[B]C[/B]
Or, you may want to suggest some other ways to plan parts of this trip so you both benefit - meaning, maybe you both can come to a happy decision in the middle about some of the specifics of the trip so it feels more like a planned vacation for TWO, instead of one making all the plans and the other tagging along for the ride.

So, do you have a reason to be mad? I guess it depends on how you look at this situation. I know some guys in their 20's would probably wouldn't have even wanted to invite their girlfriend along - and maybe he has no experience in planning a vacation with all the trimmings. If you can cut him some slack and offer some better ideas for making arrangements, maybe it's not so much as a reason to get mad but a reason to help him figure out how to plan a vacation better.

Good luck![/QUOTE]


just wanted to stop and say welcome to the boards. I have read a few of your post and you offer great advice. We got a great team here in the relationships threads :bouncing:





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