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Well...hopefully I still have some of you out there who care.

I never said I didn't have time to respond, it's just not always easy to respond quickly and I had work that had to be done.

None of this is a joke and I know that. I don't write this stuff for fun or to get attention. If I wanted that, I could get it from my family and friends.

I am in love with a man who has abused me. I'm sure many, many women have been in my place. I look to your posts because I'm on the inside and can't see as well as those of you on the outside.

If just ONE thing helps me, it's worth it.

As far as his good qualities go...of course he has many or I never would have fallen in love in the first place.

He was a friend for 14 years before he was my boyfriend. I never had ONE bad incident with him. He was always kind.

He is funny, good looking, strong, can fix anything or do anything he puts his mind to, and he's loving in the bedroom. Maybe that has a lot to do with it, but I have never had a sex partner like him--don't know if I ever will again.

He is the ONLY man I have ever been with who has never criticized my weight. I put 40 lbs. on with Lexapro and instead of telling me to lose the weight or calling me fat, he tells me he loves me the way I am.

It means a lot when your self-esteem is so low because you feel like a beached whale and don't want to even go out in public.

As far as the car goes...I asked him to fix the car because NO there wasn't anyone else who could fix it and my parent's have put out enough money and I don't have it. He does it for free.

He fixed most of it until we got into a fight and then he left with the car still at the bottom of the driveway. Now it has to be towed up to the street! I'm sure I won't have the money so once again my parents will have to help. It's so ridiculous because all he has to do is FIX IT!

Once I do get it towed, then it's still not fixed or driveable.

Other than TomsGirl and GirlHarley, the rest of you have been there and I really do appreciate it. I'm sorry that T.G. and G.H. feel the way they do.

I don't know WHY I can't seem to let him stop getting to me. He just called a few minutes ago and told me to get the guy who was over my house last night to fix the car. Of course there was no one at my house.

When I hung up on him, I was the one upset and crying, not him. He still upsets me no matter what.

He watched his father beat his mother constantly when growing up. He has such an anger problem. I see it in his eyes...it's like he just can't control it and the only way he knows how to control it is to lash out.

At this very moment, I am thinking about the car and what the heck I'm going to do. Of course he knows there's no one else to fix it so he's using it against me and he says that the only reason I want him over is to fix it.

All I know is my antidepressant isn't working well enough because all I do is cry. I know Ruth and Sophia (and others) can relate to what I'm going through and just knowing that helps.

I'm not in this for the drama. I'm in this because I don't know how to break free from someone I love (yes, love, even though he's hurt me). Until you go through it, you don't know.

If someone had told me my story, I would have told her to run away as fast as she could and never look back. But until you're in it, you don't know what you'd do.

Sorry if the Angels quote irritated some of you. It was meant to be helpful and endearing. Many nights when there was no one, you all were there.

If there's anything else any of you don't understand about him or this "relationship" please ask.

I'm great at giving advice, but in this situation, I'm having a very, very hard time taking it.

I'm in love with the guy who I fell in love with---not the one who lashes out at me in anger.

Salty





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