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I wanted to say thanks to everyone for all the advice. He doesn't view his attitude and anger as abuse, and I've told him before it's the classic abusive cycle just with my emotions and his anger. He gets annoyed, he flips out and breaks things, he makes me cry, he tries to blame it on me saying "if only this wasn't like this", "I'm mad because you", "if you didn't do this then I wouldn't be mad", and then he gets all apologetic and promises it'll never happen again. The classic cycle. Even if he doesn't hit me, emotional abuse can be just as scarring.

And you guys are right that I need to do what I need to do to protect my son from low self esteem issues that can arise from this type of thing, depression, and growing up not knowing the proper ways to express anger either, or thinking it's okay to treat women/objects like this.

At this point, I don't think what I need to do is leave him, because he's expressed sincere want for therapy already, he truly wants to be the best dad and best husband he can, and he's never been taught how to control his temper and what isn't and is acceptable in terms to expressing it. He does show an actual desire to change.

I think right now the best thing I can do.. is show him this thread. We do have good communication for all other things, but he seems to think that his anger IS healthy and that there's nothing wrong with him doing what he does, that it's just me being over sensitive. Let him see that it's not just me being over sensitive, that this type of anger problem is a definite issue, and it's definitely WRONG. Let him see how deeply it affects me, and the fact that if it continues it would have a long lasting impact on our son as well. I've already talked to him about about seeking anger management in our city, and he's agreed it might be a good idea for him to learn how to control his temper. I think what I need to do right now is get on the ball with that, and be unwavering in my demand that he seeks therapy for his temper. I've already told him that I refuse to live like this, that I can't live like this and I don't want it around my son.

I don't want to have to tiptoe or walk on eggshells, just because something as simple as a left-out milk bottle sets him up for a major blow out. Some men can change, as one poster in here said, he used to be that man and he's now working hard to change for his wife and child. Hopefully my fiancee will be as willing and accepting as you are, if given the ultimatum that if he doesn't seek management, then I will take our son and leave. I do have other places I could stay, and I do have enough of my own money to set up comfortably, so if it comes down to it and I know I have to leave for my and my sons emotional well being, then so be it.

Thank you all once again, you've truly been a great help





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