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Hi LeeLee,

I'm female, and have been in your shoes. Your latest reply back suggests to me that perhaps you are more sensitive than warrants this situation, AND that you were maybe expecting a few more "you lucky girl, go for it" replies. Nothing that was conveyed in these replies is nasty or even off the mark. You may want to think about why you are upset with some honest, and good suggestions.

If you're young and attractive, you will get attention paid to you by men from all walks of life.

You're young and it's so much fun to be noticed, I know. However, the things you do now in life will shape you in your future - how you react now to flirting and men will shape your thoughts about yourself and men in your future.

ANY man can sniff around a woman. By ANY, I mean, married, single, divorced, boyfriend of someone else...etc. It's really not that special. If this married man flirts with you, ten-to-one he's also got some other cutie somewhere else that he does the same thing to. He has no respect for himself, his family, or you.

Of course, you probably don't see it this way. You said it yourself, there's a mutual attraction, and if he cheats, it will be on his end, not yours. Is that your way of saying "what the heck"? If so, then at such a young age, what does that say about the kind of woman you strive to be? It's EASY to be EASY. Guys like this married man will seek that out, use it for what they can, and move on to someone else.

No woman wants to be treated commonly, or thought of commonly. If you allow this type of flirting behavior from a man who so obviously does not hold women in any kind of high regard, you are sending the message that you think you are no better than to be the recipient of someone else's leftovers. You are allowing this man to treat you commonly.

You stated earlier that you are a bit naive when it comes to men. In some ways that is so refreshing, because after being hurt a few times, you will no longer be so naive and you will no longer feel so special when finally a NICE man comes along and wants to ask you out.

It does sound like a simple thing: Married man at work is having fun flirting with you. You are soaking it up. But you know what LeeLee? He is hurting his family, even though it's indirectly, and he's cheapening you by even suggesting that you would take him on his offer. It's not fun, he is being a pig - even if you can't or don't want to see that.

In addition, if you're so stressed at work over this situation NOW, think about what happens if you finally do go out for a drink with him. Your stress at work will increase times-ten, and he'll find reasons to be a crab to you at work, and makes things difficult. You mention that he's already ignoring you now because he seems uncomfortable - in reality, he's probably upset because he didn't get his way (drinks) with you, so he's making you "pay". Be warned, THAT is a sign of manipulation - and that is a form of abuse.

It's better for you sincerely to continue to maintain yourself professionally, and that includes letting him know that private conversations and small little touches is crossing the line. Too many women allow the line to be crossed in small but significant ways, and then they wonder as they climb up the professional and social ladders why no-one pays them respect. Again, how you carry yourself NOW in life is what people will notice. Don't fool yourself, this man probably has a history and a rep throughout his work history with this inappropriate and immoral behavior, and probably is not above gossiping about his latest flirts, drink events, or conquests to "da boys".

It's rarely about "feelings" when it comes to this kind of thing LeeLee on his part. Bottom line, if you didn't think there was a question of his motives or whether or not it was right, you wouldn't have posted. No-one who respects themselves would tell you to pursue this attraction. You will have regrets, and he will have a few more notches on his belt to talk about.

Take good care.





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