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Re: What to do?
Aug 31, 2004
First, thank you all for replying. I didn't even expect that many replies! You guys seem to "really care".
I'm gonna try to reply now to all the replies:
[B]cookiepls[/B], unfortunatelly I don't think I was ever really in love with my husband, but I like him very much and in our own way we do match. However, I never had the "butterflies" with him. I know you're probably asking "so why did you marry him?", but please don't judge me, it's a messed up little story - I needed to get married for a reason and he offered to do it after he's known me for only a couple of days, so I wonder how much he really loved me! I THINK and maybe even KNOW that he did it to finally be with someone who can't leave him after only a few months for his difficult personallity. My husband has said and done some very bad things to me in the course of our marriage and those are irreversible. I really feel like I would like to start with a clean slate with someone else, but I'm just not ready to make the move. And there's also a fear that I won't find a better guy - even though my husband is not the Dream guy. Does that make any sense?
[B]PhillyGuy[/B] - he didn't change his mind right the next day, but a few days later. But I know what you mean... I'm not sure that he was misleading me though. It was very mutual and he said he started to have feelings for me after he broke up with me, so I don't think he had any intentions with saying that. I don't think either that I'll be telling my husband about this. We tried the counselling, but it didn't sem to do much and than after that I met this guy...
[B]promisez[/B], I didn't say we didn't use protection, did I? Of course we did, I'd never do that! And HE wasn't drunk - he drove that night. I wasn't drunk either, but "buzzed". HE has never slept with someone he just met - we spoke about it afterwards.
[B]eightball[/B], I don't understand this "because now he will fall into you passion and try to make it all better...which in reality it makes it worse." He obviously doesn't seem to be falling for my passion. Maybe he did that night. But I know what you're saying - and I'll never tell another guy how unhappy I am. But maybe I wanted him to know that I was "emotionally available".
[B]To everybody who thinks I have and STD now and I'm evil[/B], you think I'm crazy and do not know condoms? We live in the 21st century, common! Try to tell me you haven't done any "mistakes" in your life! I'm almost sure you did, so stop ripping me appart!
[B]GirlHarley[/B], you seem to be making a lot of sense! Probably the most "plugged in" response to how I'm feeling. I don't think many people have even considerred how [B]I [/B] feel. I know it might be selfish what I'm doing, but it's just for lack of knowing or being able to do better. Everybody wants love and when you're stuck it makes it easier to fall.
You're right, I am at a very vulnerable stage. No one has even commented on my panick issues. If I didn't have those, I probably would have been able to leave my husband earlier. I am enrolling to a group therapy with them soon, so I hope I'll get better.
You're also right about "the whisking away" thing. But that's not only what I'm feeling towards this guy. What the real tragedy in this case is that I NEVER met a person before that I had such a connection with, but unfortunatelly i'm not free. As I said we e-mailed before that in only a friendly way, so it wasn't only that night. We have so much in common and we have the same temperament. Even after our "break up" he looks at me in a way no other guy ever did. I can see in his eyes he still really want's to be with me, but he can't and it's making him sad. Why would he say afterwards that he did start having feelings for me. He's been always very honest with me and I trust him. If he really only wanted sex, wouldn't he continue seeing me? But what he didn't want is to fall in love with me and then be heartbroken. He's not your average "playa" - I have a very good radar for those! He's a very smart, righteous and sensible guy and we just both lost our heads that night. Thank you! :angel:
[B]SuzieQ[/B], that's what HE want's me to do. Until I'm married, he doesn't want anything to go on between us.

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