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[QUOTE=Ninispjc]Tenna - just thought I'd chime in. not sure if I can help, but maybe...
I too pine for my ex, and it's been 61/2 years for me too, but he's the one married with stepchildren. For me, i guess the part where I have difficulty in relating is that you say you are happily married. I know if i were happily married I'd be able to put my ex totally out of my mind and forget about it all. But it seems to me that it's not really your ex that you're pining for. It seems this was a really sweet, naive girl, you were her first, and perhaps there were some expectations you would be her last as well, and you seem to feel that you may have hurt her and you feel bad. It's the feeling that someone hurts because of you and you never said I'm sorry that's getting to you, or so it seems. Since you're happily married, I would guess that if this ex came up to you tomorrow and begged for you back, you'd say no. But what WOULD you say to her? Perhaps you can write a letter, and maybe not even send it. Just get all the stuff inside out. And look at it in a couple of days, and see how it feels. And speaking of exes and that Garth Brooks song Unanswered Prayers, sorry EG, it's a good song, but I hate hearing it. It breaks my heart every time, because I know that if I ever ran into my ex, it'd be me he would look at and say "boy, I sure am glad i didn't end up with HER!!" i know he thinks this anyway, and it's unbearable. But that's a different story![/QUOTE]

I like your letter idea. That may prove to be the medicine that I'm in need of. I definately wouldn't send it though. But like you said, it might be just getting those emotions out and on paper that will help me.

It's interesting you brought up a scenerio where my ex would come up to me and ask me back. You're right, I'd say no. I have too much of a good thing with my wife and little girl to throw it away, however, I've too thought about this before. What [I]would [/I] I say? There's a song by Little Texas that covers in almost completely. It's called "What Might Have Been". The line that fits with this scenerio is "The same old look in your eyes, it's a beautiful night, I'm so tempted to stay. But too much time has gone by, we should just say good night and turn and walk away." The other thing is that I'm not convinced we wouldn't fit anymore. It's like fashion or trends, you can go into your closet and put on the clothes from 10 years ago, but chances are, they either don't fit the same, or they just don't feel right anymore. I think her and I had a blast when we were together, but that was in a time where everything just fit for us. I'm not so sure we'd fit anymore. I'm almost certain we wouldn't. There was a reason why we split up, and I've never told a single soul this...not my family, not my friends, no one. But about 2 weeks before she broke up with me, I started up a special savings account that was suppose to be an engagement ring account. There is only about $150 in it, and to this day, the money's still there. I've never taken it out, nor have I ever put anymore in. It's been in limbo since February of 1998. Someday I'll take it out, but for now, that's where it'll remain.

About you being the unenviable character in Garth's "Unanswered Prayers" song. Yes, it can be heartbreaking, but also a little liberating in the sense that you still don't know what else or who else is awaiting you out there in your future. You mentioned that if you were happily married, you could forget your ex (although, it's not as easy as you might think), but if so, then you'll have no problem being the girl from Garth's song.

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