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Relationship Health Message Board

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Re: Need Help bad
Sep 2, 2004
[QUOTE=whocares]but I always seem to find these rotten guys.
Thing is, none of the "appear" to be this way at first. None of them have the same "physical" appearance and they all seem very nice well together men. It's not like I see long hair and a motorcycle and think "got to have that" and then wonder what went wrong. I have been with accountants, military men, correctional officers, construction workers, factory workers, even a child physchologist I knew from work. Every single one of them are nice in the begining and then end up either verbally abusing me, physically abusing me or flat out using me... Maybe it is me? [/QUOTE]

I think its you in the sense that you are subconsciously picking the same sort of abusive guy over and over, either you miss the signs that he is an abuser or you are drawn to the subtle signs that he's an abuser. Does that make any sense? All trhese men who seem nice in the beginning really aren't, either you miss the clues that others would see, or you see the clues and that attracts you. It seems like you have low self esteem and you let yourself be walked on.
Re: Need Help bad
Sep 3, 2004
[QUOTE=fisherwoman] I didn't realize at the time but I was so insecure about myself that [B]I could'nt resist the flattery and attention [/B] that I got from guys.I would sleep with them hours after I met them and inside my stupid teen age brain I actually thought alot of these encounters were going to become serious relationships. Guys make a bee line for easy women,and though I was a really great person,and in my mind [B]I was just looking for love,the fact was, to a guy I was easy. [/B] Two things happen:either they liked me at first but then thought I was to easy or needy and ended up leaving, or they thought I was easy and that's why they were there.QUOTE]

I think this is so true in so many cases...
Resisting is hard, but it is always best to "get to know" someone before EVER getting serious.
Whocares, you are normal. I know alot of people who have "been there done that" How do you change the cycle? Simple, you just DO! Stop dating for now and learn to love YOU. Then when you do get to the point of dating again you won't NEED a guy to like you. You will KNOW that you are a great woman, you will know you are worth the wait and you won't have to say it, it will bounce off of you.
I know how it is to want to be loved BY a person who I love and sometimes women, and men, will do just about anything to keep that. Thing is, fisherwomen is right, they don't see that...They are getting laid, then they are DONE with you.

JLB, I do think that whocares has low self esteem, but I do not think she is "picking" these types of guys... I think these type of guys see her, and KNOW that she is an "easy target" They wine her, dine her and treat her golden and then as soon as they "get theirs" they don't have to "impress" anymore and that is when true colors come out. They can take her or leave her...Why not, they already got what they wanted. Ya know?

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