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Re: I'm so upset
Sep 11, 2004
Hi elatedgiraffe,

Oh honey, I really feel for you. I can understand why you are struggling so much with sounds like one of those fights where both people get so mad that even after things cool down, neither person can admit they may have overreacted. It's hard not to overreact when you're dealing with such a critical issue. From everything you've said, and going by your gut instinct, I would bet he's not cheating, especially if he is willing to call the girl in front of you. I do not think he would have it planned out to call her back and all that--remember that he is not your ex, you have monitored him carefully and he has shown no signs of behaving like your ex did.

I know you must be upset that he may be lying about talking to other girls, but I'm not sure if it's necessary that he cuts of all contact with other girls anyway. There really are cases where guys and girls can just be friends--this is even more likely when one or both are in committed relationships. Regardless of gender, people don't like it when they're told who they can be friends with. But I can certainly understand why you did it, after all I've been known to do this myself with certain BFs.

I'm sure that right now, the hardest thing for you is the uncertainty about what will happen to your relationship. All we can tell you is that things will turn out however they are meant to turn out. I know that's not too comforting, but if you guys are really right for each other, you'll end up together. Either way, at least you know that you still have trust issues to work on, and your future relationship(s) will benefit from this. For the time being, just try to keep busy and be productive to take your mind off worrying over this.

If it was me, I'd wait awhile then tell your BF you're sorry, you think you may have overreacted because of past experiences, and you'd like to give things another shot. If he really is a slimeball, you'll know soon enough, and if he's a good guy like he seems, you probably don't want to get rid of him because of some drunken girl. But only you know if you can truly trust him, so try to follow your heart and things will work out for the best. Good luck sweetie--I hope everything turns out the way you want.

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