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Enough is Enough
Sep 18, 2004
hi everyone, i haven't wrote on here in a long time but i figured i would come back, i need a little strenght and i remember how much all of you helped me last time, even though then i think i was just to BLIND to see it!

I don't know if you remember my story so i will fill you in a little bit. my boyfriend (well as of today now EX) Will is a "recovering alcoholic/addict and we were have a lot of problems. I couldnt handle the lying and the drugs and he is just so control and basically can't handle life in general. after i wrote on here last things were okay for awhile he was working in Virgina and i didnt see him for weeks at a time so it gave me some space to clear my head and do the things i liked to do ( like hang out w/ my friends and family, which i could hardly do when he was around) well after he came home things were still okay, but a few months ago they started to go bad again, i can pin-point exactly what happened, so much has happened since then, but lately its been nothing but DRAMA!

My dad was in a really bad 4-wheeling accident about 3 weeks ago and because my family is divorce and i am the only child i have to make all the decisions regarding my father. He had to have to brain surgeries and they still don't know how he will be in the future. Will was great the 1st weekend that it happened, by my side took me to the hospital was there for everything, then as the spotlight started to point at me, he begain to get angry, yelling at me for taking phone calls from people who were concerned about me and my father, talking about the accident all the time...just everything he said was getting to overwhelming. so i basically just said i have a great family they will be my support and you can just back off for awhile. so once i gave him the space he said he wanted, he comes back and freaks out and tells me that i don't fill him in on anything! he says that he feels that he is compeating with my family, and i feel that he wants me to just push my family out of the way and just have him there in my life, when i know he is so not strong enough for that, and i want my family here with me during this hard time.

Everyday seems to be a fight, sometimes small but most of the time big, where i am the F-ing A-hol and a C**T and every degrating name in the book. he can't stand my family says they treat me like i am 12, but i do still live with them and i am not disrespectful and the whole reason i came to live with my grandparents was for rules so im not going to stop listening to them now. they have been great, and they trust me, so i don't feel they are treating me like i am 12. well ever since this happened with my dad, and trying to go to school so i can make something with my life and trying to have a NORMAL relationship with Will has seriously made me so emotionally tired, but yet he still doesn't understand that. i have been so supportive of him, stood by his side through all the hard times thinking thats what he needs, just to be takin advantage of, and now im am so sick of it, i feel so used and just miserable. i am at the point where i don't even want to be around him and thats why i broke up with him today.

Last night he came home from work and i was at his apartment waiting for him he asked me if i wanted to stay and i said yes, but i just didn't want to fight, and he blew it out of perportion and made it into this big deal, i was just saing in general i didnt want to fight. i went downstairs to my car and locked my car door, he threatened to break my window if i didnt open the door so i did and he stole my purse and went back upstairs and locked me out, of course now i am in tears...telling myself how stupid i am and that i deserve better. well i finally went back up stairs and he wasnt going to let me in at 1st then he opened the door, i pretended like i was sorry so i could get my stuff back, we talked for awhile and i told him how tired i was and wanted to go home. He usually puts the guilt trip on me on Fridays because he says its the weekend and its hard for him not to go out and party and i usally fall for it, but not anymore im so tired of the games. he said that i could go and he would call me once he got home from food shopping, i was home all night and he never called. now i know how he works i've been with him long enough to know when hes lying.

i went and saw my dad today had a wonderful day with him (hes finally out of the coma) and when i came home Will called. i knew it was him even before i answered the phone, but i answered it anyway. he asked what i was doing and acted like nothing was wrong. then he went on with his story of how he ran out of gas last night, and that he had to walk home and blah blah the story went on, now if its true or not i don't know, but i really don't believe it. when i asked him why he didnt call he started to freak out and yell and said he called 3 times but the line was busy, now i know that is a lie because no one was on the phone all night. he asked if i wanted to go see a moive i said no and he asked why i told him i was tired and i was relaxing and i didnt want to go anywhere, then it started, he gets really mad callin me names and asking me why i am being stupid, i told him i didnt think i was being stupid i was just being honest that i was tired. then i we were talking somemore and hes like well if you feel that way why don't you just say it, so i said ok, "ITS OVER" and hes like oh is that how you really feel, im like yeah im just tired of it all, i want a real bf/gf relationship not a mother and child relationship, and he was trying to get me to come up to his apartment and talk and i wouldn't because i knew if i went up there i would never be able to leave and we would be fighting for the next 12 hours. im like if you want to talk we can talk on the phone but thats it. hes like i can't believe you are doing this over the phone, why don't you grow up and do it in person or something, im like well i dont feel comfortable doing it in person. then he started to get mad again and was like oh is this what you want? well im not going to take it and he just kept saying that, and then he started making threats on how he may do something to my car and all this stupid stuff. i was just like okay well im sorry you feel this way, but im not sorry how i feel anymore, he called me a F-ing B****h and hungup.

i know i dont need this anymore 16 months of this is enough for me, i have my life and my father to worry about i don't need him anymore, he only brings me down and makes me miserable towards everyone around me. i miss having my life and being able to do what i want with whoever i want, i just wanted to write and vent a little...i know this board helps and i just have to keep remembering that....thank you all
Liv :wave:





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